Thursday, August 30, 2012

Even Though I Was Neilsen-Eddied By Fox News, I Shall Continue To Trillforth Into The Continental Divides And Ear Canals Across This Great Nation And So Forth ...


Goshdarnit, what actually happened across this great TVLAND is that I self-deported myself from the FOX News chat-'N'-chew hours in support of the ticket that I so partheartedly endorsed by givin up my time and seat completely voluntarily youbetcha, yeah that's the ticket, because I needed to be donatable of those things and to limelight them over to the new me, Paul Ryan (I texted that one up this mornin while not readin the papers and newsreels) and although the lamestream media which lamely streams out from Katie Couric's mouthpieces (and her elk) will indubabably say that I was slipped some Krazy Glue lipstick after gettin all polished, painted and dimpled up to deliver my televisdoms, that was not the case, (however did I go a smidge rogue to say that Fox canceled me to protect my valuable and expandin baseprice and my widenin flanks of dearly loved ranks and files which may get me into hot water) anyways I shall mightily topple off my silenced heels as the forefathers did also disemboot themselves before me, as their scrolled wordments have been footstepped down deep into our histories by the socks of silence that have also been jammed into their longdeadly beloved mouths of freedom, just as those tubesocks have happened to me throughout our warm and fuzzy nation, as I now find that my trilltrails have been ejected and fast-forworded into the lost laundries of bygone times as I proudly wear my high-heeled snowshoes and plus too (whether that storm be manmade by man or through an act of religious freedom of speech) weather this storm in those proud and grizzlied traditions that have always beared me up durin the silently frozen eras where the icicles of freedom have been meltable through my warm air pockets, for I will also be hailed once I get back to there with thundering claps and seals of approval from those who have herd me, as I try not to beat myself over the head because of those radical clubs that have nearly extincted and endangerously specied me there and even more furthermore youbetcha, although I have been Nielsen-Eddied across this great nation, the ungobstoppable traditions that I sing out so dearly loudly of, from high atop my One Notion Bus and underneath my powdered-wiggables, will continue to forever earworm from the majestical Rocky Mountain High notes all the way into the continental drifts and ear canals of patriotism and plus also too, throughout our beloved old geysers of freedom which are hourly eruptible with the proud steam-aheads of real American prideswells which I will continue to trillforth, as history and the Jeanettecists will bear out.

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

The Fruited Planes Have Landed And Expired Their Freshness Dates Since Fox News Told Me Not To Bountifully Harvest My Raspberries And So Forth ...


Goshdarnit, I guess my limelights have finally turned sour across this great land since my horn-of-plenty catchphrases and harvests o' raspberries have been left to spoil on the branches for no one to pick and absorb my patriotic real American nutritional family values and pulpfictions that I was prepared to A) speak about at the convention before I was told to can them, and 2) my home-away-from-bus, Fox News, has cored me like a apple and peared me down from my expandin base viewers, treatin me like Carmen Miranda Wright's old fruitbasket hat left out in the sun with my former apple-cheeked lipsticks and waxy television coatings now lookin like yesterday's leftover breakfast where I still don't recall what newsreels they give me to read when I sit down, thank you very much Miss Lamestream Katie Couric who probably plotted this whole lamestream thing, with her lamestream attacks and behind-the-lamescene friends, so now I can't even get a word in edgeways hashtaggit when the last time conventionally with Jomcane the Mavrik, I was the centerpiece at the galldarn table, however now I am just a side-dish left off the main menu and even off the Allah cart doggonit (which leads me to believe that it's a White House radical plot to get me to pucker up because of sour grapes that the First Lady is forcin us to eat) which I find hard to swallow for this great nation's health.

To Be As Seen On TV Or Not To Be As Seen On TV And Could You Repeat The Question And So Forth ...


Youbetcha, I kinda gotta admit it was hard goshdarnit for some of us to hear the so-called keynode speech this time from way far away from the welcomin "WELCOME" mats of the convention there, through the insulated and vinyl-wrapped cold aluminum shell of the One Notion Bus, usin that remarkable earpiece slash hearin-aid gizmo as seen on TV on the infoprogram (shown right after that informative Victoria Principle skin tighten-up-your-frowny-face commercial with the creams and various ointments across this great nation), but from what I was able to gardner through background grunts and seat-shiftins, full-time Governor Chris did a pretty good jab up there of ungently gettin the message applied and spread all over, instead of me expandin my own sizeable base, sayin those things that I wouda should coulda saida but I was told that my services would not be necessary and insteada me they went for the so-called "bully-puppet" that I learned about through several textmails and those historical browser research "point and click" support group sessions which I go to regular since bein given the heave-ho this year from the speechperch where I once put my mighty platforms on with Jomcain the Mavrik and Joe the Plumber, although I am unresentfilled and not sadly emoticoned about it doggonit, even if the lamestream media there once again says I am or even if Katie Couric's behind a bush or bus barricade just waitin to pounce again.


Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Generally Eisenhower And Adelaide Stevenson Are Several Of My Heroic Figurines, And Robin Williams Will Be Hilariously Out Of This World In The Acting Portrayal Of Him And So Forth ...

Youbetcha I can't wait to be invited to the premiere of anything again and so this wonderfully hilarious story of Captain Eisenhower as portrayed by Robin "Ork from Mork" Williams across this great nation since I have much more spare time after bein told to ixnay my eech-spay at the onvention-kay (LOut-oudL-Lay) and in general, Eisenhower was able to improvide some zany "off the top of the cuff" funny military speechclicks and noisebuzzes so I can't wait to see him do that like I used to do up there with Jomcain the Mavrik and that lovable kickside Joe The Plumber with his idiosinkralities just like Robin Williams, so dearly comedial to those of us who have now been cuttinroom-floored this year, but I'm fine with that doggonit and not bitterly angry and not revengeful because anyway I get to spend more time with my family for personal reasons for several family fundraisers like other normally drab real American families do with extended grandchildren along the bus lanes whether they be the main historical co-stars of the show like his wife Mame who can be played by any number of good actors, except for Julie Ann Moore Nixon Eisenhower who is not a good portrayable actor at all and even perhaps Adelaide Stevenson because I have been doin books and research texts about so many things since I have so much more time here to talk to myself.

Monday, August 27, 2012

I'm Laffin On The Outside, Spyin On The Inside Cause I Can't Get Inside And So Forth ...


Goshdarnit youbetcha it must be fun to be one of the insider people this time, invited to be inside the convention I mean, insteada lurkin outside in the rain from a big One Notion Bus like this year since they ran out of space for speaktalkin once Chris Christie took over the area that I and millions of others assumed I would be takin up like the last time over there, all shined up and strapped in with the Mavrik Jomcain and Joe The Plumber but now I just feel so drained since bein told to pipe down and plus also I'd have to wear a funnier nose and mustache glasses to snake past the bouncers because from what my sore says are textin me from their advantage points near the barbwire, there's a picture of me with a "DO NOT ADMIT HER IN" sticker slapped on it, pasted right across the mouth as things are gettin goin, with Mitt there talkin about all his negative and quite frankly, awful and terrible setbacks plus weak campaign slumps to sound like they were Obaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaama's fault which is how I remember us doin the blamey game when I used to get told those notes and rules before I was left in the lurch of my past sparkly glories, the dry dust of forgotten words and phrasemakins kicked up into my eye by the heels of our great forefathers and treated like that singer Pariah Carey Nation doggonnit, because they're afraid I'll go all rogue and bust up the place with an axe or some media grabbin poutlights or a Mister Miss Microphone to take away from the relevant talks that are scheduled then.


Sunday, August 26, 2012

It Is Scientificially Bad Science That I Will Not Be Able To Release My Cattylist Of Unstable Elements Into The Mixture At The Convention's Compound To Get A Reaction And So Forth ...

Goshdarnit, as I spy with my binacascope at the closed gates of the convention, where some of us can't scientifically get into there to speak edgewise, since certain fullterm Governors muscled over my spot in the lights that we used to absorb as enjoyables with wardrobe extras and lipsticked-stained comments of yesteryears gone by with Jomcain the Mavrik and Joe the Plumber, from our republicratic nation from the One Notion bus I sit across this great landscape, as you people who were invited (thanks alot after whatall I've done for you all) to brace for the comin Hurricane Whatever, to reince the convention hall with freedom's fluidy liquids as we march two by two into the auditoriark to hoist ourselves up onto the reinforced podiums to get our message on out to the real American elements, I can only think back dogonnit to what I am texted to remember youbetcha of my colleges days studyin those mock-sciences and "senior level" things there that we put off until the last part of those semesters, crammin allnighters in those cool evenins before these false threats of global warmin were gored into us matadorically, like radical heatbombs, learnin the foreign Derwoodian theory of electrocution, knowin full well and so forth that these things must be debunked even if we lived in single dormitory rooms with only one floor-level bed for the future of our party's spines and support systems which we cherish as we sit at the convention tables periodically.

Thursday, August 23, 2012

I'm Just Sayin But I'm Not Sayin Mitt Romney There Says There's A Gag Order There On What You Can't And Can't Ask About This Whole Akin Paul Ryan Mess And So Forth ...


Dogonnit, youbetcha even I coulda handled this goshdarn lamestream media thing better if they had only let me do my convention distraction speechtalkin with my cracked team of investigationist reporters and tweeters and facebookers and presshandlers and internetters and webstirrers and cosmetologers and wardrobe mistressers and hairdressers and cobblers and skintoners and necktighteners and chinstrappers and earwhisperers and trendhoppers and chartstackers and slangslingers and factgrabbers and quotepullers and lintcheckers and busdrivers and nailpolishers and bootshiners and eyebrowpencilers and madhatters and icemakers and moisturizers and feesetters and family members but I have been sadly and most face-slappinly disembarred and elbowed out by other full time Governor keyspeakers from the entire boundary and convention “per amateur” property lines and media blackout holdin pens that will be takin place and heavily armed for the hurricane across this proud nation down there around the Tampa Basin area so I was thinkin about doin one of those flyovers that were so popular durin the Katrina, when George Bush looked down and out, out down the window there with a serious concernicon plus serious jawfrowns for the future of our party’s own two feet, arms and legacies as well as our nation’s national interests because the Romney Ryan’s hope situation seems to be a high pressure system which is full of ironing because hurricanes are very low in those pressure areas as I have been informed by the barameters that measure them.

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Our Patriotic Dampenings Must Be Soaked Up And Absorbed And So Forth ...


Goshdarnit, many times across this great nation I have gone on and on and on about our related patriotic and precious fluid values that have defined our nation's country, (now on a freelance or "wherever I can" basis since the convention is "OFF LIMITS", but anyway) startin from the forefathers' ales and harsh brews to the modern-day lite beers, coolers and also sports beverages which we consume in order to give us "wings" to fly up to behold our heady values that were deposited and returned upon us, includin the energy drinks that some of our younger kids are chuggin for bursts of awakedness and alertivity that must propush the next real American generation ahead towards the upcomin and future Novembers that are to come up, because these things there will trickle down to them, buildin up to a torrentable rainfall of freedom and liberty celebrated on election day, sprinklin us with victory and to reince away the last 4 years or so of our present radical and stormy government down into the storm-drains where they belong to be, as we condense our Ryan's hopes and wet Romney dreams to be absorbed into us like a red white and blue Shamwow, Akin to the magic pot of liquid gold oar spoken about into the Bible located at the end of the rainbow up ahead there for us to quicker picker up it, before it all evaptorates again if we lose.

Oh, My Akin Todd And You Can Pick Your Friend's Noses But You Can't Pick Their Mouths Out Of Misfortunate Choices Of Words And So Forth ...


Doggonit, now that sufficient amounts of time have gone by across this great nation, I feel that it is with good "pile-on" reasonin that we just pick up and move on junecleaverly youbetcha about this unfortunate choice of words incident which will serve to drag down the party as we march toward the Novembers with our regrettables and the convention there where most of us will have a chance to have their say up on the partyplank, (but not everybody is included goshdarnit), from those podiums that were once held in high esteemables durin the days of Jomcain the Mavrik and Joe the Plumber and the shades of things to come and matchin lipsticks, but until we do have a resignation or withdraw-type announcement which will tell the quittin of the current problem that we face throughout this wonderful nation, the advice I would give is to follow in the footsteps of not our forefathers this time, but of another great half-leader's heelsteps quittin in the middle of things and that term back then halfway through, but until that time we must all be endurable, and just keep sayin until it happens, "oh, my Akin Todd."

Monday, August 20, 2012

What's So Big About Skinny Dippin In The Sea of Galilee When I Have Been Stripped Bare And Thrown To The Undertows Without A Speech To Spoke In And So Forth ...


Doggonnit, these naked admissions of our GOPeers going for a drinkfilled swim in Israeli areas over there pail in comparison of me and my submergable troubles when it comes to the upcomin GOP Convention youbetcha, since I have been stripped bare and also thrown into the cold water of silence and Christie-creamed so as to NOT have sharable spokespoints across this great nation, seriously hamstrung which turns my quest to follow in the forefathers' footsteps like I always say I do, into some type of grotesque plus high-heeled American crawl across our wonderful country, which is a goshdarn shame, since I thought I was gonna have a cakewalk and hobble together some excellent zingers and honest to goodness snappy sayins (this time around with 50% more snappy) aimed at those policies that the radical Washington establishin elements over there have decided to backstroke to us real Americans as we cherish those coverings of parchment that preserve our heritages and our dignity not only in overseas waters, but also the oceans of the Potomac, where George Washington once and fully clothed, stood in a crossed boat, scotchguarded by the equally dressed Paul Revere and his silver horse ridin through other above-sea-level towns and valleys where he said famously, one if dry land, two if by seas which I believe is the skinny on that, as we dip into the November event to buoy up our Ryan's hope and Romney team, swimmin those laps to get the gold and take it back without apologizin with our pants down and so forth.

Thursday, August 16, 2012

Y'All Come Back Now But Not Here To Hear Me And So Forth ...


Goshdarnit, here and now one of our Tea Party men across this great nation is bein hound-hammered dogonnit for drawlin his vocal stylins a little toward the audience that he was speechtalkin with which is necessary because I have done so with my many talkblasts throughout this wonderful nation when disembussing from my One Notion Sarah's Ark and find myself faced with different lookin faces across real America that demand that I speak at them except of course at the Republican Convention this time where y'all told me to get back on the bus and where did you ride in from type comments so just keep rollin Sister and the Rafalca you rode in on, but that's another story for me to go on and on about later with the way Chris Christie gobbled up my timeslot, however when the fine young Josh Mandelbrought some down-home pickins and grinnins to his speech there reminds me of when I was doin a thing down along the Mensa Company where I was there on a pass and found myself usin big ole words such as "research" and "verify" and was faced with variously strange tongues and factcheckin methods which weakened my thumbs fiddle-dee-dee for the facebookin and tweeterin method I have become integrated with when adoptin those accents and regionalismatic countrytime vapors and hayseed twangins and also when Noreasterly with the famous Connecticut-jaw accent adapters when pronouncin several words up there such as "top drawerrrrrr."


Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Youbetcha I Am Shocked That Joe O'Biden Charged Those Racially Credited Remarks On Accounts Revolvin Over All Real Americans And So Forth ...


Well dogonnit, I had to say somethin real fast there edgewords in reply to these things, since I was shut up from the convention this time around goshdarnit and squished down by Chris Christie youbetcha across this wonderful country, plus also too I happen to have expertease advice on exactly what things "drag down a ticket," back then that one time with Jomcain, pardon me, Senator Mavrik, back then at the 2008 McCain, when I was first notable with the selected wardrobes and face-firmin technologies and snappy "YouTube-level" comeback commentary insults that anchored me Bambily across the country toward my expandin base which has been fannin out there and gettin wider durin the past few years across the ungirdled fields and amber planes of waves throughout our national landscapes that I look down upon from my One Notion Sarah's Ark Bus durin my roadshows and covered plate dinner speeches that I am invited to and so graciously and humbly charge nominably for my time and talons when it comes to important political and patriotic-type subjects in the shadowed footsteps and pointed values of our forefathers' forefingers which Joe O'Biden is painfully unaware of and sticks in the very eye of history, with his hurtful and shockin comments which wounded me deeply because of my well-known dedications to these sensitive racial issues across those areas affectin those people.


Goshdarnit Honey, These Radical Campaigns Full Of Stings And Arrows Just Can't Beehive And So Forth ...



Goshdarnit, if I've heard it once across this great nation from up in Alaska mostly, I've heard it a thousand times then youbetcha, all about the "I know you are but what am I" campaign strategy that we get told to us by the powders that be, dustin off those types of schoolyard taunts and jeerjabs that we must aim at our opponents, and then run away so that they cannot run away with their radical agendas and recipies for socialist just desserts, which is by golly what we deserve and will leave such bad tastes in our patriotic and traditionally upheld mouths if we let the Obaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaama camp and their bakeries sell these things that our new Ryan's Hope and Romney are tryin to take back throughout this countryside, includin the purple majesty mountains and fruits sweepin down the hill like in that Oklahoman musical about Oklahoma called "Oklahoma" that many real Americans do so enjoy tappin their American values toes to, keepin these traditions and wavin heels of amber that we see from our One Notion Sarah's Ark alive, as we speed by these dots on the map and also the malls, spreadin seeds and patriotic pollen, like pridefull bees, swarmin in the truth throughout this historical country as we drive into November to find the safety of the convention hive which I am not the queen bee of this season, or at least that's the buzz I hear about it with Chris Christie now takin up all the air and airtime which at first stung me somewhat when I heard it through the grapevine because last year I was swelled with pride but now that's gone down.


Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Don't Cry Over Spilled Speech And Wah Wah And So Forth ...


Dogonnit, although the powders that be are tryin to dull down my limelights and dim my blindin shiny attention-grabbin talks at the upcomin convention that I was told to be a "no-show" at across this great nation, that does not mean that my firmly set plus patriotic jawbone and nearby gums will be unflappable durin these days for our party, as we lead up to the November primary youbetcha, just because my dearly important message points for the future of the real America at the convention over there have been unrehearsed and demoted down from any national bullhorn, because again my new motto is "don't trod on me", since I have a way of takin my expandin base and One Notion Sara's Ark bus to these media-type areas just in the knack of times to be pushin out my sayins and jabforths durin these important primetimes, also maybe I'll just use all of my combined informations and medias (but not the lamestream ones, we all know about them, thank you so very much Katie Couric, Little Miss Television Show Off Big Deal Network Interviewer Lady and Mrs. Ask-A-Lotta-Questions with your nonsense rhymes back then about my breakfast newspaper) so I can be like an outsider lookin in, with my face pressed up against the glass of freedom and the revolvin door, so that my steamtruths will fog up against the historical panes as I breathe out my very own conventions with every breath in myself.


Har Har Har Dee Har Har Bang Zoom Pow Right In The Kisser And So Forth ...


Dogonnit youbetcha, all the speechtalkin slots seem to be all given away to those members except me who "stuck with" the GOP there, like Chris Christie who I guess got the speakinspot that I was sposta get after I up and quit that job of President of Alaska to seek brighter famelights, even though many of my hardcores do remember, I did hold many places with Jomcain the Mavrik, with the fondly remembered wardrobe budgets and attention-catchin lipstick laugh lines all over my face across our great nation, but this year galldarnit I guess I'll have to watch from my One Notion Sara's Ark Bus, unless I decide to rogue again, and crash the Good Ole Party there to get a word in edgeways the way I do on the Fox programs with Greta van Hannity and Sean who always reserve a space for me unlike the powders that be runnin the convention show this time who have taken my ego and thrown it under my big bus (LoutLOL) but at least in the proud traditions of the great forefathers I can get a big sense of humor about bein left out in the swamp this time around to make room for the keynote speaker who admittedly does have a wider base than I do, or so it seems, for the reinforced stage of messages that we want to hoist up there and support him on which of course I always will remain with my loyalties and so forth.


Monday, August 13, 2012

They'll Have None Of My Lipsticks At The Convention, Young Lady, Cause the GOP Told Me To Shut My GOB And So Forth ...





Doggonit, now that I have all this spare time on my hands since I won't be doin any speechtalkin at the conventions doggonit, I guess I'll put my full energies and staffs onto my next new book which is tentacally titled:  "PALINDRONES - Readin History Backwards And At The Same Time Speakin Them Forwards" - which will be published by way of the tweet, released and exhaled over several hundred thousand volumes, or maybe a million maybe, since we have only a valuable amount of limited characters available to thumb-in, and plus the shorter attention spans throughout this great country that we are affected with are different from before, so to get the words on out there to the Real Americans within the sound of my screen is so dearly important for the future historical benefits and also in memory of our proud, brave and dead forefathers who put their histories down on wrinkly paper durin the revolutionary days by candleflame, so that we could follow in their footsteps up over here, which is why I do it (although I use a bus, "Sarah's Ark, The One Notion Truth Machine" to drive-thru those patriotisms and values and so I don't actually walk in those Paul-Revered foot and hoofprints but drive over them) so maybe in time for the November convention holidays I'll be done with it, which would make a great and wonderful gift item across this wonderous bountyland, so dingdangit, it's back to the darwin board for me, since my expandin base and I were face-slappinly not invited to fill one of the talktime slots at the grand ole convention, so back goes all my new Grand Ole Party clothes, with all the stunned tags and shocked accessories also, plus those cedar balls that I was so noticed for and styled up in, back when Senator Mavrik, pardon me, Jomcain McCain, and I gripped the attention spans of the great planes of amberly wavable grains, with Joe the Plumber for comical reliefs durin the breaks, so he patriotically shares some of our blame too youbetcha, and now, as horrible and predictable (of course) as I spectulated, many of the lamestream media gangs are gonna have a feel-day with this nationally tragic news of my shut-out -- nay, my shun across my nation -- with little Miss Ask-It-All, Katie Couric, princess queen of the lamestream ball, gloatin by on a big giant media gloatfloat with sparklers and tiaras, up at the head of that parade wearin radical gotchahair ribbons that I have no desirable desire to march in, so instead I'm gonna follow the footsteps of our foundin fathers, just as I have been doin for nearly 200 years dogonnit, and also too, to do whatever I can do to uphoist my patriotic and historically shapable values across this great country that I started doin right around the time after I quit my governor job halfway in.

Sunday, August 12, 2012

I Am Incredibly Touched In The Head To The Bottom Of My Heart And So Forth ...


Goshdarnit, youbetcha I'm just so incredibly touched in the head and into my heart that this wonderful nation would allow Jomcain the Mavrik, who chose me to be the Vice-Mavrik back when then, would come out of retirement or assisted governing or whatever and so forth to restate his support for me and my family, which of course includes those members who were unmarried or extended, as does occur from time to time in every family normally across this great nation to set an example and shine our family values and standards (doubled in our case (LoutLOL)) because now the mold that I broke open due to my expandin base has been put upon Paul Ryan to be able to pick up my footsteps, just as I stepped into the feet of our founding fathers and continue to do so with the tire-treads of history pressed into the great asphalts across the country from the immense weight of my One Notion Bus (Sarah's Ark), exposin and explorin those other values besides the family ones that we hold so dear to our hearts and other places as we approach the November elections and RNC convention pep rally which befalls it, which nostalgicalistorically is like that play "I Remember Papa" which is fondly recalled for me at this time.


Saturday, August 11, 2012

I Literally And Patriotically Could Not Be More Happiest For This Dirigible Moment Of Our Party's History And So Forth ...

Goshdarnit, never have I felt more patriotic doggonit, than now as ever in this dirigible moment in our party's history with the choice of Paul Ryan for the job I almost had but went all rogue on and gummed up the works for Jomcain the Mavrik back then before I decided to become spokesworthy for the Fox Programs and One Notion Bus trips that I conduct from time to time across this great nation in those proud traditions of our forefathers to continue the patriotic and wonderfully declared declarations that were declared for us to follow which were sadly interbroken by Obaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaama and his radical takeover of the government system that we had up and runnin for over two hundred years startin with when Senator Revere, excuse me, Paul, rode his horse Silver through the towns of Lexington, Concord and Welch's and the other grape-producin regions of New England (not to exclude the ducks berries and rocks berries that we do also hold high and cherish throughout those other historical regions with their important fruits and produces) warnin the townsfolk of the harms and anti-American things that were gonna be befallin us if we didn't stay patriotic as to what may happen in 2008, as we know now and can look forward to with the November elections to fix it back up and proudly uphold high finally once again and I also wonder too if I had somethin to do with inducin this type of choice for the GOP across this great nation and in furtherance of our forefather's footsteps with the choice of Paul Ryan aboard the mighty ship's deck of the Milwaukee, because when Jomcain the Mavrik chose me to be in charge of the Senate (as I understand the job duties to be with its responsibilities and legislatin duty capabilities) back then with the lipsticks and wardrobes and pitbull jokes and catchy catchphrases, I was somewhat the unknown factor type candidate who was gazed upon as coagulatin my expandin base, whereas Paul Ryan here seems to be on those medicalcare traintracks that have been so supported and planned across this continent by those of us who wish to take the country back from the Obaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaama care frescoe which has resulted in these serious denominations of our country Greta throughout the world's stages, which will come out in November when we proudly can once again vote in, since this wonderful team of the ticket who has the experience to take the country right back to to where it was patriotically, before we knew we had to bring it back to where it should have been left, for our future generations now to pick up again after it was taken from us to prevent it can do so.

I Guess It Was Just A Pike Dream That I Would Get To Do A Do-Over And Do Over The Nomination And So Forth ...



Goshdarnit, I guess it was only of my several pike dreams to be hopin that I would be the choice that our eventual Rominee would re-choose to co-lead the nation to be in charge of the Senate, like when Jomcain the Mavrik and I were all "ready-set-on your marks" to go do them before I went all roguey and plus that Katie Couric over there didn't help things any with her "what do I read and think from my breakfast chairs" attacks, but since I did have those experiences under my designer belts and other campaign cosmetics and sanctioned makeovers back then, so dogonnit, all my wishful thinkin and high hopefulls plus snake-prayin and gassin up the One Notion Bus (the Sarah's Ark) have gone for knot, since Paul Ryan will be the Romney Junior, pickin up where I left off, doin the dirty work and blastin Obaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaama across this great nation from coast to coast in the footsteps of our forefathers and also plus too with his much better and so-called medicalcare plan improvements that he will be cuttin up about to take those things back that we must as we march to November without me but maybe I can do some more speech talkin for my expandin base which hopefully all the foiks will be starin at if I get a good time slot and so forth to be able to expel them across our plains of amber grains for our futures and by the way, dogonnit, I don't understand why I am always and so often accused of creatin "word salads" across this country and along our great nation's Ranches and Thousand Islands of real Americans (whether our heritage be Italian, French, Greek or even Balsamic), because we have all whisked together, and, honey -- mustered, yes, mustered a wish-bone of combined courage and tossed-together dreams -- drizzled and cobbed far and wide, so allow and Let Us continue to take up the yolk of freedom, even during these Good Seasons of oil and vinegar type party disagreements, whether we live on a buffalo ranch or along a sun-dried Hidden Valley somewhere youbetcha, we will get out the vote and pull the lever in December.

Friday, August 10, 2012

Obaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaama's Speech Is Nauseatin And Who Should Know More About Nasueatin Than Me Doggonit Goshdarnit Youbetcha And So Forth ...



Doggonnit, if there's anyone who is an authority figurine when it comes to nauseatin speeches across this great nation from coast to coast, I am the "go-to-gal" for chokingly gastric speechforths and wordforms that bring up more than just current topics (if you know what I mean (LOutLOL)) durin these campaign times when the negative ads get "hot and heavy" even from within my air-conditioned One Notion Bus (Sarah's Ark) where I am witness to those destructive and regurgitatingly unswallowable comments made by Brak Obaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaama which made it nearly impossible for me and Tad to keep down our Chick-Fil-A delicious free speech chicken as we traveled from coast to coast to show the real Americans that we have to take the country back but luckily we had some cloths aboard the bus which came in handy when we cleaned up the radical mess that we projected upon ourselves through our reactions to the comments that came from the White House which felt like air sickness does indeed feel, except we were on a bus so it was one if by land, as our foundin father Paul Revere actually did say across the nation in New England when he rode atop Rafalca through Lexington, Concord and Welch's to warn the British of those bells that rang throughout this wonderful revolutionary colonial country back durin those days when we were just formin ourselves, without throwin up.

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

It's My Party And I'll Cry If I Get Invited To It If I Want To And So Forth ...


Dogonnit, youbetcha in these days steamin up to the electoral convention, I kinda feel like that one oddball who isn't yet quite invited there to the party, anaconda the things I said or didn't say good enough or supportive enough towards the host across this great nation with upholdable and traditional boosts that they, our patriots, stamped in for us to pick them up and take the country back again, just sittin, and wishin, and hopin, and thinkin, and prayin, and waitin, and fishin for an invite to speechmake at the big GOP platform event durin the all-important primetimes, like back when Jomcain the Mavrik and me (plus Joe the Plumber, also not invited I think thusfars) were around there doin snappy wardrobes outfits plus those catchphrases that stuck into the real Americans from the United States coasts, to launchpad my magnificent careers as motivational FOX guest speaker), additionally added to with my book writins and advice givins streamed out through many facebooks and pre-tweeted releases that are stored in memory to get "sent" instantly to friends and extended family to gin-up my expandin base, since my party outfits and boots are all laid out with my travel plans ready with mapquests just in case they do call, and all is forgiven so that you can get on out there with the air kissin and glad handin in the footprints of our forefathers to finally show that all that PAC money has gone for somethin worthwhiled goshdarnit.

Monday, August 6, 2012

The Curiosities Of Mars Are A Wonderful Question Mark For The Lunar Rover In Our Solar System And So Forth ...


Dogonnit, it is such a goshdarn wonderful event that I must weigh in on up there youbetcha for our continent across this great nation for us to be drivin the lunar rover onto those solar system planets with spooky Martian habitats that we have enjoyed from coast to coast, in those proud American traditions that Jomcain the Mavrik and I upheld durin the GOP convention down here on our own planet, with various discoveries, journeys and wardrobes that we were pressure fitted into across the universe (although we did not use space materials or heat-shieldin lipsticks then), much like those tours I now host on my One Notion Bus where we greet the real earthbound Americans to boldly blastoff to where no man has gone to before, much like Newt Gingrich, one of our forefathers, proposed about goin to the moon Alice, with its vast colonies and waterways, holdin several opportunities for us to take the country back in November, or at least move to a place where the weightless grip of socialism that has now entered our atmospheres there in Washington can be a far away thing (much like our Russian neighbor Alaska) to be jetted to go somewhere else, which is the great traditional way which commenced countdown with Paul Revere, ignitin upon his horse Rafalca, reachin for the stars while ringin those British bells to warn us all of the future exploratory operations to come someday in a galaxy far, far, up, up, and away.


Friday, August 3, 2012

Jomcain The Mavrik Has Good Advice For Mitt Romney To Pick Vice Presidents, And So Forth ...




Dogonnit, those wise words spoken on my behoof by the great Mavrik Jomcain there, in response to those "Dick" pardon me, "Vice President Cheney" comments the other day when he was influenced by the lamestream opinion medias there who said I was not properly vetted across this great nation in the traditions of our wonderful forefathers includin Paul Revere with his bells and whatnot which I have modernized with my One Notion Bus trips instead of a high horse that "Paul" pardon me, "Senator Revere" and the horse he rode in on speaks to, about those great patriotic things that I did and have done throughout my career and experiences up and over the wonderful real America that I continue to see and vulcanize, as the Senator so greatly put it with those observances as to what I was involved in, includin the snappy sayins and quick comebacks that seem to come out of nowhere on my facebooks and tweets with my thumb on the pulse of those current events Greta, pause for effect across this great continent that we are so, so privileged to be able to live in, for each and every state that we are able to sanforize with those traditional values.