Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Goshdarnit, Fox News Told Karl Rove To Pipe Down Just Like When They Told Me To Stick A Sock In It And So Forth ...



Doggonnit, I can certainly express some sympathies there across this great nation goshdarnit for my fellow Fox News mouthpiece Karl Rove, bein told to stick a sock in it after his head grew three sizes that night cause of how the Democrats stole the election and even my large wighedge kinda deflated on the other screen just as Karl's noggin was blowin up sigh mutationally and since I do so dearly tend to make things all about me ever since my meteoric rise to fames and fortune after bein put on the public by Jomcane the Mavrik durin the 2008 election, notified by my sassy wardrobes and sayins that struck home with my base which is expandin (especially durin this holiday season with those gooey dessert treats and big suppers that we all have as a normal family back home in Frontporch durin the real American Christian holidays that we do together as normal by golly) but anyway, I can feel somewhat remorsefully emotionable there for Karl since we all remember the tragic circumstance of what happened to me durin at the last convention when I myself was told to clam up and pipe down so Chris Christie could get on up there doin the big keynodes insteada me, so I know how Karl feels all big and stupid and wrongfilled with those projections that he did not agree with when we lost yet another one dingdangit right there in his face.

The Roof of Papa's John's Sales Mouth Got Kinda Burned And So Forth ...


Doggonnit, speakin as one American institution to another and acourse by that I mean 1) me and b) pizza, the lamestream media once again across our great nation has thrown a pie in the face of real American's free speech and constitution areas that cover our beloved government foundations (the crust of our wonderful democracy) which I see a lot durin my fundraisins from within my toasty One Notion bus proofin my own dough in support of our amendables which are like extra toppings youbetcha, however the calorie count in those historically yeast-driven wedges may add to puttin on the pounds durin this holiday season so youbetcha I'd better not have too many helpins of freedom or else I'll add too much to my expandin base to fit into the studio chair at my Sean and Greta video playdates over at Fox News where I get all painted and floured up and also dimpled and hair-raised to make my hot tomato chewy statements ready to eat and easily devoured by my growin base (also too, our other national snacks and junkfoods are bein radically hijacked away from our traditional mouths similar to when the convention folks told me to shut my own personal piehole) dingdangit but historically speakin they just had those hard tacked breads back in the forefather's times then since no chain restaurants were open in the early pre-mall years of our nation back then which is so sad.