Wednesday, August 29, 2012

The Fruited Planes Have Landed And Expired Their Freshness Dates Since Fox News Told Me Not To Bountifully Harvest My Raspberries And So Forth ...

Goshdarnit, I guess my limelights have finally turned sour across this great land since my horn-of-plenty catchphrases and harvests o' raspberries have been left to spoil on the branches for no one to pick and absorb my patriotic real American nutritional family values and pulpfictions that I was prepared to A) speak about at the convention before I was told to can them, and 2) my home-away-from-bus, Fox News, has cored me like a apple and peared me down from my expandin base viewers, treatin me like Carmen Miranda Wright's old fruitbasket hat left out in the sun with my former apple-cheeked lipsticks and waxy television coatings now lookin like yesterday's leftover breakfast where I still don't recall what newsreels they give me to read when I sit down, thank you very much Miss Lamestream Katie Couric who probably plotted this whole lamestream thing, with her lamestream attacks and behind-the-lamescene friends, so now I can't even get a word in edgeways hashtaggit when the last time conventionally with Jomcane the Mavrik, I was the centerpiece at the galldarn table, however now I am just a side-dish left off the main menu and even off the Allah cart doggonit (which leads me to believe that it's a White House radical plot to get me to pucker up because of sour grapes that the First Lady is forcin us to eat) which I find hard to swallow for this great nation's health.

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