Wednesday, October 26, 2011

My Fifteen Minutes Is Like Playin That Game Beat The Clock Where You Have To Beat The Clock ... And So Forth

Doggonnit, youbetcha with all that’s goin on in this great land of ours and the world also across this great nation and me not bein a part of it cuz I’m just about almost irrelevant and very untimely now finally for the first time since me and Jomcain and Joe The Plumber were back there talkin bout all the things that Obaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa was gonna do to mess up this wonderful land that our forefathers did for us back then in those times, (and speakin of Joe The Plumber, I think I was told somethin about him runnin for an office or such appointment soon maybe, so I’m gonna keep my phone line handy in case he wants me to trot myself on out there for many supportin words and sentence fragments of encouragement and endorsable opportunities on the bus with appropriately sized banners and portable podium and plug-in microphone adapters that I have handy to be able to set up at a moment’s notice at a mall or stadium or high school gymnauseum or lodge or hotel lobby or banquet room or church basement or town square or arena or stadium or ballpark or cafeteria or garage sale or community picnic or bowlin alley or open house or public park or rooftop or barn or lighthouse or chicken coop or dentist’s office or convenience store or boat launch or airport or train depot or taxi stand or hardware store or anywhere actually) but anyway it seems my handlers and packers and wordfolks are havin a hard time comin up with snappy and barbable things for me to say about all of those current topics which escape me at the moment, so I’ll have to get back to you on that (try as my staff might, bless them so) and so forth with Rick Perry ridin that rollercoaster campaign of his with the debates all mucked up there so he can hardly tell what he means to say, and then Herb Cain with the outrageous advertisements and statements and tax plans which are bein gone over by those tax professionals there provin to be not so good as those deals that he says they’re gonna be now that we look at them, and that Michele Bachmann, who did steal my spotlamps back then when she announced that she was gonna file those papers and parchments in the tradition of our foundin leaders back then about runnin for President with those same debates (and bless her so with all those little headaches runnin around her house there plus too the migraines) before I announced finally that I was gonna to not run after askin for all those big piles and sacksfull of money sacks that I had my Sarahpac sock away for me, workin the phones for my moneybags there, up to the last minute before I sacked those plans and bagged my potential there to be able to checkout on whether to register to be leadin our great land with all of its hills and valleys (Ovally) because for some reason I was told that I thought I could actually stick with a job for more than 2 years after all this time of me bein on my recent career after leavin the Alaska shift back then when I was tapped, plus Mitt Romney there sayin this and that one day and then sayin that and this the next day to be contra-compatible with those things and speeches that he has previously put out there before and after as well as for and against himself sometimes whenever to the delightmentary entertainment of those lamestream media folks out there who just love to trip ya up like that Katie Couric did to me but that was a long time ago when she did these things, askin me all sortsa questions about what I could and couldn’t read in those mornings before I was in the business of gassin up the big One Notion Bus parked out back and havin those books written with me and the speeches that I give and do, so that there’s hardly any time left for me to criticize the President on his weak leadership skills that I have been told about and thus has led to the capture and eliminations of those threats to our security and those terrorist leaders like Osama and Kadafy over there that were in my opinions just the continuatory policies that were paved down from the previous administration’s infractures with all their ground works and pipelines that were laid down for him to follow in after all these years of trenchin and of course we can’t and should not give him credit for all of these new and current things at all because leadin from behind is the thing we say about him that seems to be catchin on with the folks from coast to coast cause it’s so easy to say and chew and remember and we wouldn’t be caught dead throwin him a doggone dogbone or tossin him a table scrap of crumbpraisement for cryin out loud on what may be easily confused as a job well done, or maybe even so a so-called accomplishment, although I did recently slip up that one time and criticize someone on the Fox News who said somethin bad about me about somethin I had said bad about someone else that I couldn’t just leave alone, I had to pick at it like a sore and of course had to fire back because of my thin skin and whatnot but that seemed to backfire up me and to drop me down there with my relevant coverage on the programs that I usually appear on all the livelong day when I can travel to there, or if not from my own home studio (which is actually in my own home) with the scenic vistas and slides that have my rear projections there for the people to see and hear on those fair and balanced broadcasts that are beamed outforth accordin to those plans for the segments that we bring to the real Americans who are still with us for the time that I have left until I find somethin else to do since there seems to be time runnin out lately for me to do them which does make me sit in wonderment and gaze out across the hills and valleys about whether the fifteen minutes that I get durin those televised segments are gonna still be up or not soon.

No comments:

Post a Comment