Sunday, October 30, 2011

I'm Gonna Gas Up The Big Bus Full Of Gas And Aim It At Iowa For The Upcomin Crocuses Springin Up ... And So Forth

Goshdarnit, yaknow with so much time on my hands nowadays before I decide on who to endorse for the Iowa crocuses that will be poppin up soon for the spring and the general elections that we will be votin on throughout this great land of ours across the nation that was handed down to us by our forefathers long ago at or about those times then in the past when they did those things for the future of all us real Americans to enjoy the benefits of here and now, I’m gettin the Ol’ One Notion Tour Bus all full of gas and family to aim it straight at Iowa to be able to lend my support and incisorable opinionary about the future of the GOP as I see it from where I sit on the gigantic bus or sometimes from a fair and balanced studio or even from my own home broadcast center that was built after we freed up that one rumpus room and cleared out all the hockey mimeobilia and beer cans so that I could comment on those political horizons whenever current things happen in Washington with the career politicians and crony capitalizations that we have goin on now more than ever with 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and his crony socialism that started after we didn’t take back the country to where it was when I and Jomcain the Mavrik and Joe The Plumber (who still hasn’t called me yet to help endorsify him in his new campaign that he’s gonna be doin up there in Ohio shortly) when I was full of swagger and lipsticks and pitbulls and hockey moms then with the spotlights and wardrobes that were surroundin me then on top of all the flashes from the photographers and other shiny events of those times before I got down off my Alaska throne to develop my future careers as you see them now but not so much for me I mean anymore, which started when that Michele Bachmann (and bless her soul with all that she has to keep track of with her busy schedule and those howevermany children she mentions at the drop of a spoon, and her career husband, all of which things there I certainly hope doesn’t affect her ability to lead not only this great nation but also too not to mention her little district up there in Minneconsin plus again the other headaches she has goin on over there which I lost track of some time ago) stood up and got on out there on the podiums and said that she’d be runnin for President by filin some paperwork by the way, durin that first debate before anyone could even get a word in edgewards and so forth about the debatable topics that were gonna be discussed back then when that event was televised at which time and also too bigger than life and twice as natural she shocked the nation into a state of shock and kinda kicked sand all in my face with what she was gonna do all of a sudden, nevermind that I was gonna do it maybe, even though I had been danglin that carrot pie in front of the American public’s stick for a while until I did ultimately decide that I was not gonna run after makin that last minute push for money with my Sarapac standin out on the corner of the internets there like some of those seasonal bell ringers do in the shopping malls and parking lots and streetcorners with their hands outstretched across this nation saying “pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease” just in case I was gonna decide to become President of those United States that I do so love (and frankly my dear as Charlotte O’Hara once heard said to her back then in that epic Southern Hollywood story of historical family and film, reflectin what we stand for and embodied by those radishes and other edible staples that we cannot do without as they supply a vital nutrient that the real American people that I speak at cannot do without, namely Vitamin P as in Patriot, and also too like Paul Revere with his giddyup-and-go bell ringin across Lexington, Concord and Welch’s warning the people as he did (and as I do now with One If By Land and Two if By Sea and Three If By Bus) and you can look it up or do a Gurgle search for it on the computer if you doubt my very word or question my knowledge on [1] those historical current events as that Katie Couric did that one time when she jumped all over me with that big ambush of hers coast to coast like some sort of thing that she is known for with her gotcha journalistic friends in high places ready to swoop down at me from their lamestream media branches of mediaocraty [2] these things that we do represent and I talk about from my podiums which are well researched, portable and linkable, [3] the real truths out there and [4] and so forth) because anyhow I could do such a much better job than the guy we have in the Oval Office there now, hip-hoppin around on his wasteful taxpayer funded bus with his crew there) since money does help folks like me to decide on how to do so many things nowadays with the economy all gummed up the way it is thanks to the failed policies of the current administration which we had nothin to do with as I remember it from the past when those things were bein calculated and baled once my advisors and message typists did explain to me that the baleout had nothin to do whatsoever with farmin or farm equipment or animals per say, which learnin curve I must admit was a beast of burden for me to negotiate when I had all those things goin on, like the reality show to do and book writin and tweetin and facebookins that I had to keep up and on top of with, while balancin my busy personal appearance tours and acourse those duties of wife and mom which I far and widely have been known for throughout my history as can be plainly seen between those times which I will have to jam aside to decide and endorse the actual candidates that we have now, whether the ultimate winner will be Rick Perry, (who has been the head Governor of Texas for an inconsolably long period of time that I just can’t hardly imagine how anyone could get stuck with it for as long as that let alone more than two years youbetcha), or Mitt Romney who I don’t really know that well or am too familiar with his beliefs or special religious beliefs, not that there’s anything immoral or dangerous about those thoughts and myths, or Herb Cain who I have spoken about from time to time with regard to his Nine Nine Nine flavor of the week coupon deal, plus whoever else may jump into the race at the last minute if that is gonna happen which is why I’m gonna hafta wait till the right moment makes itself profitably clear for me to throw my growin and expandin base and support toward that one “King of the Hill” who will be the “top dog” in the upcomin race we have, not just for the future of our great land there but for the future of the great land of our forefather’s children and their offsprings to come is whatfor.

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