The Roof of Papa's John's Sales Mouth Got Kinda Burned And So Forth ...

Doggonnit, speakin as one American institution to another and acourse by that I mean 1) me and b) pizza, the lamestream media once again across our great nation has thrown a pie in the face of real American's free speech and constitution areas that cover our beloved government foundations (the crust of our wonderful democracy) which I see a lot durin my fundraisins from within my toasty One Notion bus proofin my own dough in support of our amendables which are like extra toppings youbetcha, however the calorie count in those historically yeast-driven wedges may add to puttin on the pounds durin this holiday season so youbetcha I'd better not have too many helpins of freedom or else I'll add too much to my expandin base to fit into the studio chair at my Sean and Greta video playdates over at Fox News where I get all painted and floured up and also dimpled and hair-raised to make my hot tomato chewy statements ready to eat and easily devoured by my growin base (also too, our other national snacks and junkfoods are bein radically hijacked away from our traditional mouths similar to when the convention folks told me to shut my own personal piehole) dingdangit but historically speakin they just had those hard tacked breads back in the forefather's times then since no chain restaurants were open in the early pre-mall years of our nation back then which is so sad.

Doggonnit, Debbie Downer Done Gone And Got Me All Disappointy And So Forth ...

Goshdarnit, youbetcha I for one across this great nation in the traditions of our foundin fathers and in support of our troops and things goin on there throughout our wonderful land am glad and sad at the same time that the obviously rigged election have shocked my shells also and that they turned out the way that they did since I can now guaranteeably continue to appear on the video opinion news programs with Greta and Sean to speechrope and textbleat and remain so dearly beloved by my expandin base which is showin some signs of wear and tear which I offset by my large hairhoppins and high definitioned facepaints in front of the television cameras and as I have kept employed since the days when I decided to go rogue after unhitchin my wagonwheels from Jomcane the Mavrik and the blockhead Joe the Plumber who did not do so well nor did he invite me up there to do my speechreadins for him like at the RNC convention where they served me a shutup sandwich platter there, also too not askin me to inject my blabfragments into the speechthrusts and instead put their money and keynode speech onto that party jumper Chris Christie who shares the blamebulk of our disappointin outcomes that we worked so hard to smacktalk down hashtaggit, all to no avails doggonnit and furthersome, this Wheel of Fortune Blame Wheel keeps comin up bankrupt across this great nation youbetcha as we try to uphold up our patriotic traditions in the footsteps of our forefathers which were shockinly and dissapointinly erased, as the great dinosaurs were because we overfished them which led to their eventual distiction from what I remember from my studyin when I went to colleges back before I got to be the GOP co-star with Jomcane the Mavrik and all the lights and cameras plus that blockhead Joe The Plumber who apparently did not advance with his political apparitions like I did once I patented and bewigged myself into the wardrobed and spitshined celebritory political spokesspeaker that I have dimpled and winked into after goin rogue and bustin out of the GOP scriptstable to enhance my star powers and widen my expandin base where I tooted out some of my best facebookin smacktalks ever (LOutLOL) that is the best way to avoid that lamestream Katie Couric media gotcha style that tripped me up the talksteps that last time I gave the unfair and unbalanced grillins and had the gotcha boot clamped to my mouthrims and jawhinges but anyway it's obviously the fault of Brak Obaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaama winnin this election that is directly to blame for our second loss in a row and I should know doggonnit since I was there at the hub of it during those times in our wonderful histories.

Zing! Went The Zingers From My Mouth And So Forth ...

Goshdarnit, youbetcha for the life of me across this great nation, when I was told Mitt Romney there was gonna use some zingers, (and I must say that among the Mary-add of things that I don't understand at all) I don't understand at all why his campaign crews didn't contact me about zinger stylins since I have left many trails behind me of zingers for more years than I care to remember since my facepalmified attempt with Jomcane the Mavrik and the blockhead Joe the Plumber failingly failed to take over the Senates and White House even though I did rehearse up so many zingers in my head and made them brayably along our wonderful countrysides with the amber grains of waves that I see with my own eyeholes from inside my One Notion bus when I manage to cram out my busy schedule of goin and doin the Fox answer-and-answer sessions where, again, my zingers are respected and laughed over plus the text-shines I get from Sean or Greta, with my expandin base draggin right behind me backin me up there in real America's face, however also, the stigmatosis of bein handed a big box of shutup and treated like Pariah Carey by Chris Christie at the RNC Committee Convention still follows me around like a bad fish doggonnit, I guess I’ll watch from my snidelines to get my thumbs ready to push in how Romney won like when I won mine verses Joe O’Biden.

Fuzzy Math Sounds So Cuddlesome Although It Gets Some Folks' Danders Up And So Forth ...

Doggonnit, youbetcha goshdarnit, why don't people across this great nation follow my bottom line principals and those of my expandin base of how I have figured them historically out by followin in the foresteps of our foundlin fathers and based upon my highly calculated career as facetexter, and just file some Freedom From Information papers like I do before I go onto the Fox News Greta or Hannity shows to blabforward my speak-a-lots so that this hard math problem without showin the work that Paul Ryan and Mitt Romney are doin can be zeroed out until they're elected up at the upcomin November primary, as I understand how this highly governed mental process works, havin myself been the groundbreakable phototype for Paul Ryan, even though I was given the "shut it" order at the convention, but the last one where I was divided by Jomcane the Mavrik when folks paid attention to my attentions, our math numbers multiplied, then I went rogue and they subtracted us there after the lamestreamer Katie Couric asked me informations which I do not recall, (especially about my house and the Russian Union) and also I forgot but just remembered we had that tagalong blockhead Joe the Plumber cancelin out our poll numbers, sendin us down the drain (LOutLOL) but nevertheless, Paul Ryan should not do repeats of these speeches from the past and this close to the debates it only adds up to take-aways.

And The Enmity Award Goes To And So Forth ...

Goshdarnit, youbetcha if I had four thumbs across this great nation I would use all of them at once to downlike this incredibly uh mimical and disrespectish portrayance that Julieanne Tyler Moore acted out against me and my expandin base doggonit some time ago much to the hilaracy and unpatriotic values which are unupholstered on the facebooks that I have come to revenge my enemies with when not powdered up for my appearances on the Greta or Hannity newsblast chatseats where I do my smacktalkin and tartbarbarisms about everyone else with my paybacks and dishouts, plus also various things that I textabout these days with my thumbs since I have so much spare times on my hands (and again, thumbs) which I would reuse to tell those Hollywood radicals out there to take a hitch-hike away from our great country with its hills and high valleys and planes and boats and trains and dunes insteada these funpokins at real life characters like myself with the mimes and mimicons of me which have gardnered those awards on my behalf when they didn't even ask me to be a part of it hashtaggit, and just go pack up and move to Russia where I never said I could see it from my house but that other one sittin there, Tina Fey said it with her awards probably too comin to mock me in the face later on, or tape delayed I think they call it and plus also too hashtaggit, youbetcha I coulda won a buncha those Enmity Awards across this great nation at the big Hollywood pileup against me if I was invited to it (all expenses paid and so forth plus gas) which I was not doggonnit just like with the RNC at Florida excludin me out if you remember cause they told me and my expandin base to clam up and then later Fox News told me to button my lipstick cause Paul Ryan now is a new replacement to me, takin over my speechtexted jawbleats and then givin the big fat keynode to Chris Christie this year, opposite day from the last time when I was centersquared and also Jomcane the Mavrik plus the blockhead Joe The Plumber but I don't know who coulda poorplayed him, maybe Bruce Willis, or that meathead from Archie Bunkers, since I, again, did not watch how she did me in as an actress with her stunninly accurate wardrobes and wigfaces that I saw when her mockmimes misdirected all my attentions away from me, but at least she didn't make me look fat which is what they told me about the camera addin extra chin cans which is why we have to watch our edibles durin this campaign holiday season because of all the waste lines and gooey dessert candydated sweets even though this performance did leave a sour taste there but I am not bitter or sourpussed in the lease about the whole production.

I Am So Shocked And Did Not Have Anyone Prepare A Text For Me In Case I Am Ever Catagoried For This And So Forth ...

Goshdarnit, as I sit on the One Notion bus and watch the Emney Awards, as I seek out and destroy new careers for myself and my textwranglers, I wonder if one day across this great nation there would be a category someone could do called Best Spokesspeaker on The Fox News Greta Or Hannity Programs For A Half Termed Governor Who Was Picked By Jomcane The Mavrik And Then Went Rogue After Havin Some Disasterawful Interviews Especially With That Lamestream Media Queen Katie Couric After I Couldn't Answer Any Breakfast Newspaper Questions Durin An Interview That Later Made Me Invent Up The Terms Lamestream Media And Gotcha Journalism That Are Used Across This Great Nation Because Of Me And Also Plus Too My Realty Show That I Did On Top Of All Those Appearances I Made When Someone Like Dick Chainy Or John Kerredy Says Anything In The Least Bits Critical About Me To Make Me Jump On Over To The Studio And Do My Get Even Type Retaliates In A Supportin Role there because I think I would be able to accept the award on my behalfs and my expandin base in case the academies were thinkin about spicin up their broadcasts and makin them less lamestreamy and liberal the way thing have been goin around here these days doggonnit and big deal about Julie Ann Moore anyway.

Under No Circusdances Youbetcha Would I Be Caught Wearin These Wardrobes On My Interviews Because It's Not Over Till The Rich Lady Sings And So Forth ...

 

Doggonit, if there's one thing I know because what I don't know about things across this great nation could fill a book in the footsteps of our forefathers that I stepped into while on the campaign trails there with Jomcane the Mavrik and that tag-along blockhead Joe The Plumber, it's that when you get trotted out to do the speakins in the studios to enlarge your expandin base like me on the Fox Newses with Greta or Sean when they allow me to mouthtalk which is not so often anymore since bein told to shut it up f'cryin out louds durin the convention and other important primetimes much to my astaggnishments after all I have done and said and gone on and on and on about throughout our wonderful land since the patriotic time I went rouge and off my message boards there after my brutal Katie Couric encounter with the newspaper breakfast and also the gotcha memorisms that she inflicted at me, it is to not under any circusdances wear too many colors for those camera angles like Ann Romney is doin here because all I couild think about was it's not over till the rich lady sings so I couldn't forget those controversies that her husband did when he told half of our vast populations to go take a hike along our nation's amber waves ingrained and lushed valleyways goshdarnit, because that clown outfit musta cost so much money plus who sold it to her anyways? 

Doggonit, Mitt Romney's Hell Week Was Like A Sharp Lamestream Newspaper Stick In The Eye And So Forth ...

Doggonit, youbetcha we're not freakin out as the lamestream media says across this great nation with their lamestream Royal Jelly Queen Elizabeth Katie Couric sittin up there on her lamestream thrown with her lamestream crown of jewels and her septic made from old breakfast newspapers that I don’t read just because a few of the GOP leaders who matter anymore have uh seethingly become jumpshippable and distanced their closenessity to Mitt Romney, with Chris Christie first doin a doublewide turnaround from those controversial percentables that Mittney said in his ambush movie role he fundraised in, plus Scott Brown over in Matchasucretts also did pull away from the um $50,000 a plate chewables that Luke Warmney did say, however to back up what Ritt Marmee is now sayin fluidly, which mirrorize our majesticable and dry riverbeds with soarin valleys that we see throughout this wonderful bus on my One Notion tour Greta or Sean, I do have Supreme lipstick that we will stop in the name of Mitt and we won't go straight to hell if by followin the train that Matt Rumney conducts for us as he pitbulls his campaign straight to such a, how shall I wordsay it, uh unique fashion statement which I would have gone on about at the convention if Chris Christie hadda given me some elbows room to hockeymom my textables but as we all know and love, I was traffic-coned out in the rain from the conventional centers in Florida.

Horsefeathers Goshdarnit Cause Youbetcha I Preheated My Goose When My Hot Saucy Words Were Prepared Too Early For Mitt's Spicy Blandishments Whatever They Are And So Forth ...

Doggonit, it seems like only yesterday youbetcha, that Fox News let me get back on out there with my expandin base and uh say some wordstreams again after tellin me to clam up and take a pipedown around the time of the convention that I was not given welcome mats to from the last time with Jomcane the Mavrik and inelegantly, which is a wordphrase that I can't get unstuck upside my head, invented by our eternal candidate Mitt who I had not overly endorsed and then was not allowed to speechly do so at the convention that I uh was also banned from, with the various barricades and cones placed across this great nation in front of the One Notion bus when I did try and enter the staged door of that patriotic banquet and convention hall to be gained egrets to which I was unable to do so, when just the other day I said the new text real cute-like that "Obaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaama's goose is cooked" (LOutLOL) and that got a good reception Greta or Sean when I quoted it, but now the bird seems to be in the other foot as those precious forefeathers seem to have also gotten plucked into the uh political broths that are simmered up into our great land which he will have to re-gander to get a good view as to what he said to alter the flavor of what he will say that he cooked up.

Doggonit, When You Least Expect It, You're Not Elected Maybe Also Too But Smile And So Forth ...

Goshdarnit, youbetcha this vast hot-wing conspiracy where supposably Mitt Romney there for our President who was talked about so much at the last convention by goshdarnit nearly everyone except me, since I was told to keep a lid on it and clam up f'cryin out loud, is sposta be sayin this and that with all of the so called percent figurines about numbers and mathegraphicals in that fuzzy video which is again Greta or Sean, another one of the lamestream media's attemptin to do whatever it is they do that they are famous about, like when they tried to do it at me durin the last time I was escorted onto the major network programs to answer unprepared answers concerning my breakfast cereals and reading materials that I had while on the campaign trails with my expandin base and Jomcane the Mavrik leadin up to our loss when I went rogue to become a household item after I left bein the head of Alaska and plus that hilarious blockhead Joe The Plumber was also conjoined with us to say many of his nearphraseables when the cameras that we were aware of were turned up, after adjustin our platforms and lipsticks, insteada the candid cameras there to catch us sayin what we really know about at those times (which I was not pre-informed of) and which is what Mitt Romney has filmed, or so they say, which I brush off with an amber wave of grain of salt.

Har Har Har Dee Har Har Bang Zoom Pow Right In The Kisser And So Forth ...

Dogonnit youbetcha, all the speechtalkin slots seem to be all given away to those members except me who "stuck with" the GOP there, like Chris Christie who I guess got the speakinspot that I was sposta get after I up and quit that job of President of Alaska to seek brighter famelights, even though many of my hardcores do remember, I did hold many places with Jomcain the Mavrik, with the fondly remembered wardrobe budgets and attention-catchin lipstick laugh lines all over my face across our great nation, but this year galldarnit I guess I'll have to watch from my One Notion Sara's Ark Bus, unless I decide to rogue again, and crash the Good Ole Party there to get a word in edgeways the way I do on the Fox programs with Greta van Hannity and Sean who always reserve a space for me unlike the powders that be runnin the convention show this time who have taken my ego and thrown it under my big bus (LoutLOL) but at least in the proud traditions of the great forefathers I can get a big sense of humor about bein left out in the swamp this time around to make room for the keynote speaker who admittedly does have a wider base than I do, or so it seems, for the reinforced stage of messages that we want to hoist up there and support him on which of course I always will remain with my loyalties and so forth.

I Hope To Be Able To Speak My Spoken Words At The Convention Or Else I'll Make It Unconventional And So Forth ...

Goshdarnit, I'm just so yaknow, so doggone proud that Senator Gingrich from the great House of Representatives, speakin on my behalf wants me to absolutely speak on my behalf there, and put my behalf-term's worth of experience, governin in the great tradition across this powerful land that our forefathers dedicated to us across this magnificent country from up in Alaska for those times that I did it, so let me scream from the rooftops, in those proud traditions and hoofsteps of Paul Revere when he rode through Lexington, Concord and Welch's, ringin those bells to tell the Real Amerian folks up around there from his high horse Silver, just as I twitter and facebook myself all by myself, in my own real words just as unbelievably quick as lightnin, from atop my shiny One Notion Bus, and perhaps as if I may be given the chance if so honored at the upcomin convention, just as I did guest star at that last one with Jomcain the Mavrik, let me say from the bottom of my expandin base, one nation, indirigible, with liberty, and justice for all who wish to follow us in the forefather's footsteps and bootbuckles, that we must behoove ourselves youbetcha, with and for the good of the children of those of us livin for our futures at this time for our past history to reach beyond it and keep goin forward because it's not like I'm fishin for an invitation dogonnit, much like those salmon and other gill-bearing reptiles that make up our Alaskan natural resources that we enjoy killin as a family as part of the real American traditions that my husband and children do so enjoy together during our normal lives, but youbetcha it would be a nice sign if Mitt Romney, tossed me a fishbone, whereas because I have spoken about him and of him on those many occasions when I am asked to import my knowledge base onto the Hannity and Greta van Nostrum FOX news shows where I have my own big chair when time allows, (and when my One Notion Bus tour schedule permits me to stop into those magnificent studios and so called 'green screens' across this great nation) to speak about the dangerous and foreign customs that Brak Obaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaama's doin up there in those Washington establishments full of his foreign and scary rituals with those cronies capitilizin on the lamestream media's gotcha journalism death panels which we do not affix to, as our forefathers would not have affixed either, had they not been long dead before this, lo those many years ago across and six feet under this great nation which we must take back and uphold for, in their memory and for the sacred future that we must preserve.

It's Not Wrong To Use Jeremiah Wright To Point Out That Romney Is Right and Brak Obaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaama Is Wrong And So Forth ...

Doggonnit, youbetcha there are lots of other things throughout this great land of ours that I'd like to get on out there and suggest besides yaknow Mitt Romney should be usin the Wright stuff to the real Americans across this wonderful country that our forefathers put down for us to pick up and follow the footsteps into which, namely that the way to win elections in this current time we have, and take it from me who has been embroiled in the electoral processes back when I and Jomcain the Mavrik and Joe the Plumber were barnstormin on the stage sets with the lights plus wardrobes and snappy sayins and lipstick one-liners that I was doin, (LOutLOL) gainin my popularism and great successes with my expandin base stuck out there in everyone's nose, gettin the applauses and pokelines out there about the community organizer which I'm still doin and which of course I'm sure many of you folks remember from those greatest hits when good citizens absorbed my advice just as they do now on the Hannity and Greta van Sister programs that we broadcast from the studios for the folks out there to learn from and seep up and so forth.

Go, West, Go, Young Man Unless Your Name Actually Is West Because It's Just Goshdarn Unamerican If You Can't Call An Unamerican an Unamerican And So Forth...

Goshdarnit, this is exactly the kind of invasion of our speeches that I faced when I was sayin those things across this great land of ours from my One Notion bus when I was revelatin around the time I corned the phrase "gotcha" journalism when that Katie Couric and her elk tried to pin me into a coroner by askin me all those trick questions once about readin and so forth that I did or did not do outside of the facebookins and twerps that I have been known for at the drop of a doggone hat whenever things get mentioned in the news youbetcha that I can glom onto and keep myself up in the spotlamps anaconda my two cents put in there (like a bad couple of pennies actually the way I keep poppin up like a goshdarn Jack In The Lantern and whatnot) when there's a camera or a studio or 2 Dixie cups and a string nearby or Sean Hannity or Greta Van Sistern with her rear projections back at my home studio that used to be my rumpus room with the hockey sticks and my grandchild goin on over there and who knows what all else, but it's just frankly shocking and I am stunted that these types of squishes to our freedoms happen because indeed, a wasted mind is a terrible thing to have and so forth which you would think Obaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaama would be more sensitive to and of in this day and age because if you can't call an Unamerican an Unamerican or communist or whatever you want to, which is the way our forefathers wanted things to be historically, what is the country coming to especially now, because what's the next thing they'll say, that the expression "Go West Young Man" is also Unamerican especially if your name is West and you can't even call a communist a name in this so-called free country that was taken away from us and so now we have to take it back and put it where we want it to go before Obaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaama tapes up our real American mouths with his Unamerican birth certificate string or whichever customs that they do have there with the secret service goin and doin things and not payin attention so maybe we'll look the other way and have even more things and so on taken away from us in this great land of ours?

Gosh It's Fun To Spin Words About The President And Make Jokes And Whatnot Because You Get New Words To Read To Make Jokes And So Forth ...

Gosh, yaknow it’s just such darn fun youbetcha to be able to have things all printed out real BIG for ya, pokin at Obaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaama with a stick there, insteada yaknow, actually sayin or doin somethin positive and so forth, but seriously folks within the noise of my voice, I gotta million upcomin one-zinger lines (not that I’m a member of the Brat Wursts up there in the Cast-kills or those nightclubs with the “Take My Wife, Please and also Try the Veal” kinda jokes and such, but real serious things that we face here nowadays today now here) so I’m gonna try out more cuttin remarks about the state of our economy while sayin out my other mouth that I’m out there inspirin the people across our great nation (LOutLoudLOL), so this one was handed to me recently:  “Hobnobbin and Jobbin” which I think is sassy commentary about the unemployment rates goin on there, to keep those folks laughin while they’re applying, kinda public service I can do, 

but sadly yaknow, another one I’m gonna setup-pause-punch is “Takin the Downtown Train Down to Dow Jonestown,” but I may not open with that cuz it needs a little work yaknow, so I’m takin my act and large bus on the road anyways there to scads more folks since it’s a fun game to devalurate the present administration and get all the cameras goin at me and talkin heads talkin and to get the Greta’s van Susterenin there and so on, in the fair and balanced networks that we find along the way, sometimes broadcasted right on out there from my former rumpus room (once I cleaned out the beer cans and hockey sticks and magazines and whatnots) so that the studio folks could set me up with the screens with the mountainous backgrounds and rivers and put the chlorakey paint on the things there to get my rear projection pushed right out in the face of the real American public (or whatever those technical guys call it) so that my spreading and growing base plus my messages and word-finds will have an image ta go with them that’s befittin and will be fittin into what I’m saying, so the great people along the way out across can just sit down and keep tuned in to have all the readin and thinkin ready for them to digest with their meals and so forth, easily chewable, just like that veal that the comedians talk about up there in the mountainous regions of comedy later to be seen on the Ed Sullivan shows and such varietal programs of yesterday's news, oh, and speakin' a yesterday’s news (LOutLOL), Michele Bachmann and her get 'em-up and go out there and run for the presidency announcement back then that caught so much of us on fire along the campaign trail seems to have gotten watered on by Rick Perry now, with his own particular brand of get 'em-up go out there and shoot-em up (with real guns by golly) type postures which seem to work (and also for Mitt Romney as well as we are seeing across the nation so) and don’t forget to tip your waitress and other advices that they give out there with their particular brand of ancient and wise humors from the holy land which members of my family have always been open to and tolerant of (how did I start talkin about them all of a sudden now — oh yeah, those ethic comedians with their words and how they tie in to what I’m talkin about already (haha which reminds me of “What you Talkin ’Bout Weezy? LOutLOL) that was such a fun show but of course so sad afterwords) which is of course what makes this great nation great, but not so much great these days yaknow with the White House doing the “is this thing ON” with the microphone pointed out down toward the American people with the volume turned off or maybe on some kinda strange exotic frequency thatcha can't pick up on regular real American citizen television and so forth, bein so out of touch (like I keep sayin on the programs there and whatnot with the “WHOA, tough crowd” kinda dialog that we don’t need, tuggin on our collars there like Rodney Dangerford usedta be able to do up there in the purple mountains majesties) or even Henry Youngman with all of his jokes about his poor wife bein takin off to gosh knows where and all,

but we know that when those economical policies bomb bigtime at the box office like my film biography that went straight down the old chamberpot there faster than you can say “Oh, The Seanhannity” of it all and so forth but anyways I know I am doin good for the country from coast to shining sea out there, one if by land, two if by sea and three if by bus there.