Goshdarnit, especially now since that HMO movie about me with Julie Tyler Moore went on the air, imitatin and mockin my ways and means (those lamestreamers), I have decided to emerge from my recent hibernation and jump back onto my One Notion Bus and verbally and computerly broadcast and address several issues and so forth that have come to the attention of myself and those around me in these days leadin up to the election that we real Americans must take part in while we still can be able to do so, before radical Brak Obaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaama sends us back to the days before the Civil War Between The States, strippin away our freedoms, stars and stripes, and sendin us back to those days when unfortunately some of those folks were treated unfairly because of the colors of their skin and the jobs they had to do for a living, way before the absolutely shockin and divisionary ways that we are bein forced to go down to, and getting worse and even more socialistic and radical than they have become because of those shocking and very devisive ways and dangerous pathways that we are bein forced to go down, which is the mistake that was made years ago when we did not vet radical un-American, socialist, radical and un vetted divisionary Obaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaama the way we should have which means a) not what I though it did which was somethin to do with bein a professor or doctor of animals and 2) it was really our mistake I guess when it comes down to not vettin him the way we should since we’re so goshdarn mad about it, whoever “we are” and by the way, dontcha hate it when folks say “we” and “them” and ya always never actually don’t know “who” “we” is really but they’re probably folks that we don’t wanna sociate with anyhow, so it’s a good thing that the current GOP that is runnin to get the Presidency back are goin through the important and necessary vettin process that is so important for us to be able to get to know these GOP front- and back-runners and such things about them, like how many Cadillacs they own, or how many wives they had, and how does she get that hair to be all helmet-like every time, and of course how they feel about Planned Parenthood which is very current in today’s current events not just in life, but on radio and television, (not to mention in my own life, driven home when my very own Bristle came out there and told me she was gonna have a little bundle all out of the blue like a big fat surprise, like releasin a Jack In The Box right out there in my face, springin up to scare me right in the early campaign days then [as if I didn’t have enough flyin around] with that hockey boyfriend of hers and all, all up and over in my very own spare room doin goshdarn who-knows-what, but of course we all know just exactly what goshdarn what-all they were doin, gettin bigger than life and twice as natural plus bein unmarried and all but we got a big fat Mama Grizzly pass on that from those good folks on over at our media side of things, but anyway yaknow those events that were goin on up in my former rumpus room which is now my own home studio where I can be broadcasted with all my thoughts at the same time, and interview topics, sittin in front of my big fat rear projections up on the "green screens" (goshdarnit I hope I get the lingo right with those video folks who come to broadcast me) with all the purple mountain majesties and trees and rivers that run through it and such visually pleasant things instead of the rusted out cars and old Barcolounger sofas we got stacked up out back) plus other facts such as did you know that for instants, the Queen of Great Britain's England is not the leader over there of London of the government (or "across the pound" as they call it, former Guv'nuh (LolOutLoudOL)), and that North and South Dakota I mean Korea are two different places, although doggonit I can never remember which one is the bad one but luckily I don’t have to worry about such factual and gotcha things and detailed facts when I go on the Hannity-type programs where I get to say pretty much any stinkin thing I wanna say, drawing on my vast amounts of experiences and ever-growin and expandin base about any range of topics as long as I get to kick Obaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaama around with my catchy turns of phrases and clever barbs that I became so famous for back then in the days when I co-starred NOT with Ed Harriston who I am no longer a fan of, but the one and only Jomcain the Mavrik and Joe the Plumber and speakin of him, I wonder WTW (Why The Wurzelbacher) hasn’t called me to bounce on up there on the stage like I used to do with those wardrobes and high heel shoes they got for me, endorsin him and kinda bein a bratwurst, gettin those hot digs in about community organizin and lipstick on the pit bulls, and hockey moms and those very endearments that endeared me so very dearly to my dear and loyal scanions across this great nation, followin in the footstamps and pathprints that our forefathers laid down for us to fit into, much like that historical famous Chinese theater in Hollywood where ya put your big feet in the movie star footprints and see who’s your favorite movie star which brings me back to that inconsequensionistic recent movie about me and my so called “game change” event there, (and I will NOT ever put my shoes into Julianna Tyler Moore's footsteps if she's even in there in those Hollywood squares), where the campaign had to jump through so much mess, makin sure I knew all the facts (or as many as would stay push-pinned into my head) about those countries and which one was a continent or such thing like an actual county (like we have in Alaska when I do get a chance to be there), or whatnot and also too plus the Capitals of major cities, (I always capitolize those city names which was a skill I learned about when I was in all those several schools I attended to when I was gettin my degrees there in Journalism), not to mention other facts I was so glad to recite durin those quizzes with Joe “there yago Joe” O’Biden that one time up on stage with those lights and rapid-fire cutie pie responses and debatable events that riveted me into the brains and ears of the country before I decided to unrivet myself from those memories and mental pictures and become a commentator, writer, reality star and celebrity and also a guest spokespeaker on numerous occasions and coast-to-coast gal about town and sea to shinin sea which I do not believe is meltin by the way, but even if I did, it wouldn’t affect my decision to step forward now, front and center, and come out of Hiber Nation to say these few things which do mean so very much to me in order to be able to set the records straight and make sure our message rings out loud and clear, like those bright and shinin bells that Paul Revere rode through, ringin and ridin his horse, Silver, on that one dark and stormy night when he warned our forefathers and ancestors of the British comin to do those things back durin those times which we harken back to which we have lost but must regain them from the radical divisions that have fractured our country up, and unfortunately so I might add, so that we must self involve us to do so with the upcomin elections which we necessarily need to take part in, in order to take back our country to where we need to put it again.
