Those Occupiers Blockin the Walls and Streets Are In The Way And Plus Are Also Creatin A Doggone Traffic Hazard For Progress In This Great Land And Just Need To Get A Job Or Just Stay Home or Go Away To Somewhere Else … And So Forth

Goshdarnit, boy howdy am I ever in high spirits youbetcha that there’s somethin goin on nationwide across this great land of ours that I can take parts in and weigh in on, with my large and expandin base, to be able to get on in there and criticize it about, when my facts are all spread out on cards for me, all easy-like (thank you very much Katie Couric) if you all care to remember that one time when I didn’t know what the jillikers I was audiatin about durin my roll-out (LOutLOL) concernin these so called protestors, but now I am informed enough to poke the stick of the flagpole that flies the flag of the real Americans at them out there through their homemade homes, those unsatisfied occupiers who are so much opposite from those common, down to earth regular folks that I drive by and wave to while ensconed into my big One Notion bus, spreadin words and phrases that I have become so dearly held up for as I go from podium to mall, parkin lot to staged events, rallyin the folks around me like Paul Revere did at Lexington, Concord and Welch’s, ringin and ridin, singin and chidin, plus and also too turnpikin down the roadways and dirtpaths and grottoes laid down these long and many years ago which have become parchmented values preserved in our museums and old books set down by our great, lifeless forefathers who currently are buried under this great nation into those sacred grounds and cemeteries that I pass over and uphold for the sake our nation, and to take the country back from people like Obaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamaa and those Street Occupiers there, walled off under those unsanitated tents and smell-filled “lean-tos” composted of close quarters that they have trespassed up because of the failed policies of the current administration which thankfully allow me to continue barrelin through the crowds with my speechforths, (but I better watch it with my direct language there about drivin through crowds since that has actually happened, or so they say these things have indeed taken place there on those tent cities, so I guess apparently that’s what Occupational hazards mean for those radical elements, and also too I should give it a rest because back when I used to say those things about lock and load and reload with the targets on the district maps when we put all those violent images up on the interwebs for any crazy uncle to go off on, doubleplus so then when it really did happen with that shootin and for which we were so dearly sorry for, not that we had anything to do with that but to be sensible and just in case, we called our internet folks and so they spitspot took that graphic down youbetcha faster than Superman folds sheets on laundry day, and immediately displeased all of our responsibilities and liables in that area as quick as castor oil through grandma, but anyways I hope people forget about so many things we did in the past, so why the heck am I bringin it up now, well cuz I just guess I can’t stop once I get started on a tonguetrill over there with my wisdom-makins and opinionatin now from here in Buena Vista with the good views I can see out of) where I can look out across the land and latch onto these terrible times in our future that we have down the road for us which we are able to do now in the hopes that the optimism that once gripped this nation like an eagle with its powerful outstretched talents will swoop down again and reclaim all of the things that we lost so we can start from scratch and once again to take back them, boldly led by our soon to be chosen GOP candidate winner (who I don’t know or haven’t expressed an endorsement for yet since things are so up in the air) which is certainly takin its own sweet time by jing, what with the “touchy-feely” issue goin on there with Herb Cain and those accusers poppin out of a cake like in those stageshows and burlesques, and that crazy speechmakin that Rick Perry did the other day with his loose gesturin and unconventional speech patterns with his googly eyes and hair, and then still there’s that Michele Bachmann, for cryin out loud why is she even still there still, but bless her anyway again, with those many children to be responsible for and the husband with his troubles with the controversial behavioral tictacs he uses, and acourse those imbalancin headaches, plus also Mitt Romney with his “which way do I put my shoes on like any other person on Monday or Wednesday in my big house with its strange religious customs and maybe I need to buy a bigger house so I can be livin in a bigger house” which leaves us in doubt about the other days of the week when he puts on his garments and which way the wind will be blowin for him to latch onto, and then there’s the others like Newt Gingrich with his wife Calistic, and her jewelry addiction and that severe and reflective helmethead hairdo that looks like she could cut glass with it (and maybe if she could, she should just do that at the Tiffanys store front window and just reach in and grab those gemstones and other shiny barbells and such things instead of runnin up all those credit card bills (LOutLOL)) so I will endorsificate somebody at some time in the future comin up to keep my relevant position in the industry not dried up like so many jobs and futures for our children that we sadly face and would have been avoided if me and Jomcain the Mavrik had been able to get on in there and legislate the other laws that we wanted to be there in place, and of course with me bein in charge of the Senate if I had been able to accept the award as Vice President durin those times when we tried to do it before my current career as “super booster” and mom and book writer and reality show actress and commentator and what-all across this great nation plus celebrity and other things.

Where Have All The Monies Gone And When Will They Ever Learn To Leave Me Alone ... And So Forth

Where has all the money gone goshdarnit, youbetcha I have been told by my staff that some of those lamestream media types out there seem to be askin about me, and plus about those things with my Sarahpac when they were inter-nettin around, casting their webs far and widely out, beggin and blowin and so forth, collectin and askin for those handouts right up to the point where I decided to deprive myself of the office of the President up over in Washington, all the cash helpin me decide if I was gonna do it or not for this great nation of ours (run I mean) that was laid down by our forefathers for us to boldy go across this nation in my big One Notion bus with my family and yaknow perhaps it is true that the price of gas for my travels and maintenance has gone up since I started my speakin tour (not the kind of gas that comes out of my speakin, I mean the kind that goes into the machines and tanks that power this great country made and assembled by those hard workin real Americans who I do so believe in that are here legally of course I mean, except that all the jobs are bein siphoned away with a big socialist-type straw by the policies of Obaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamaa) and also speakin of straws, the price of saliva has salivated upwardly and quite rapidly as a result of our once growing but not stagnated economy to keep that big and shiny shine on the family One Notion bus so that we can glide effortlessly onto the next speakin engagements and assembly halls that we have booked (with my still ongoin book signins and speechyaps available on tapes and compacted disks not to mention the rhetorical tourblasts that I am invited to partake in with my snappy rhetoric that I am enriched with) thanks to my kickstart with the Jomcain involvement that I had with those early GOP stageshows which provided me with a rich broth of materials and wardrobes for my snappy sayins, pointy barbs and sassy fabrics that some folks said an arm and a leg was spent on to show that I did indeed did have controllable arms and legs which did not flail about (as my lamestream media enemies accused me of, like when that know-it-all Miss Katie Couric that one time when she tried to trip me up and push me to the journalistic ground with those trick questions which she learned about at her journalism school which I never was taught of at my journalism schools) which I was happy to demonstrate to the delight of the members of my enthralling audiences that did put me back in the mindsap of when I was involved in the Miss Alaska Pageant back then before I became the celebrity that I was transfirmed into to this day (especially around my jawline, and those neckrings if you look at some of the early pictures that are like “BEFORE” and “AFTER” which is quite horrible I must say again and again to be transparent about it, which is the terrible burden of double-standardization that we as moms in the public spotlights must endure which is what I went through first before that famous mom of all those kids that she talks about the minute the sun comes up over the mountain (Michele Bachmann) stole my limelights there some time ago and went onto go into the debatable shows there with her podiums and speechmakins with even more barbed comments about Brak Obaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamaa which first, I did not approve of because I didn’t think of it first, and second, I hate comin in runner up or second term) but speakin of that Miss Alaska pageant I did come in as a runner-up so I had to grin and bear it back then to show that I was a “team player” which practiced me up good for those shows with Jomcain the Mavrik and Joe the Plumber when he could get to those events (and by the way, I am still waitin for him to call me to beg for my overwhelming support with my large and expanding base to tilt his way onto his political goals and futures) as I have so much time now on my hands and other limbs which are again, fully controllable and functional, to help promote and endorsify others there that do tote the party favors for us like-minded institutionals to follow through on to be part of this Grand Old Team Party of ours, where we want so dearly much youbetcha to take the country back from where it is now, wherever that is so that when we find it and can take it back, we will bring it there for us to get things goin again finally in the right direction for a second time instead of bein Shanghai’d away from us, which does sound Socialist-like if you ask me which is dangerous for our country these days in the current administration for us which we do not believe in, bein a democracy-lovin nation as we found we had been founded on in the past history by those foundin fathers who now lie lifeless and spinnin in their graves over what the heck has happened dog-gonnit since they rode those horses in circles in the town squares sayin “One If By Land” and “Two If By Sea” and so forth to which I have adhesively stuck to and followed patriarchtically (as those founding dads did indeed do) in those tire-tracks of history and such things, therefore I say “Three if by Bus” with my gigantic One Notion vehicle that we speak of with the full tanks of expensive gas and spit shinins which are indeed cost-inhibbible without these Sarahpacs of money, so again thanks so much for the Sarahpac infrusions of donor cash which support me in this incoming time of greater than even need for me and my family time since now I have so much more of it to spend with them and on them the last time I checked those things.

I'm Gonna Gas Up The Big Bus Full Of Gas And Aim It At Iowa For The Upcomin Crocuses Springin Up ... And So Forth

Goshdarnit, yaknow with so much time on my hands nowadays before I decide on who to endorse for the Iowa crocuses that will be poppin up soon for the spring and the general elections that we will be votin on throughout this great land of ours across the nation that was handed down to us by our forefathers long ago at or about those times then in the past when they did those things for the future of all us real Americans to enjoy the benefits of here and now, I’m gettin the Ol’ One Notion Tour Bus all full of gas and family to aim it straight at Iowa to be able to lend my support and incisorable opinionary about the future of the GOP as I see it from where I sit on the gigantic bus or sometimes from a fair and balanced studio or even from my own home broadcast center that was built after we freed up that one rumpus room and cleared out all the hockey mimeobilia and beer cans so that I could comment on those political horizons whenever current things happen in Washington with the career politicians and crony capitalizations that we have goin on now more than ever with Obaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamaaa and his crony socialism that started after we didn’t take back the country to where it was when I and Jomcain the Mavrik and Joe The Plumber (who still hasn’t called me yet to help endorsify him in his new campaign that he’s gonna be doin up there in Ohio shortly) when I was full of swagger and lipsticks and pitbulls and hockey moms then with the spotlights and wardrobes that were surroundin me then on top of all the flashes from the photographers and other shiny events of those times before I got down off my Alaska throne to develop my future careers as you see them now but not so much for me I mean anymore, which started when that Michele Bachmann (and bless her soul with all that she has to keep track of with her busy schedule and those howevermany children she mentions at the drop of a spoon, and her career husband, all of which things there I certainly hope doesn’t affect her ability to lead not only this great nation but also too not to mention her little district up there in Minneconsin plus again the other headaches she has goin on over there which I lost track of some time ago) stood up and got on out there on the podiums and said that she’d be runnin for President by filin some paperwork by the way, durin that first debate before anyone could even get a word in edgewards and so forth about the debatable topics that were gonna be discussed back then when that event was televised at which time and also too bigger than life and twice as natural she shocked the nation into a state of shock and kinda kicked sand all in my face with what she was gonna do all of a sudden, nevermind that I was gonna do it maybe, even though I had been danglin that carrot pie in front of the American public’s stick for a while until I did ultimately decide that I was not gonna run after makin that last minute push for money with my Sarapac standin out on the corner of the internets there like some of those seasonal bell ringers do in the shopping malls and parking lots and streetcorners with their hands outstretched across this nation saying “pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease” just in case I was gonna decide to become President of those United States that I do so love (and frankly my dear as Charlotte O’Hara once heard said to her back then in that epic Southern Hollywood story of historical family and film, reflectin what we stand for and embodied by those radishes and other edible staples that we cannot do without as they supply a vital nutrient that the real American people that I speak at cannot do without, namely Vitamin P as in Patriot, and also too like Paul Revere with his giddyup-and-go bell ringin across Lexington, Concord and Welch’s warning the people as he did (and as I do now with One If By Land and Two if By Sea and Three If By Bus) and you can look it up or do a Gurgle search for it on the computer if you doubt my very word or question my knowledge on [1] those historical current events as that Katie Couric did that one time when she jumped all over me with that big ambush of hers coast to coast like some sort of thing that she is known for with her gotcha journalistic friends in high places ready to swoop down at me from their lamestream media branches of mediaocraty [2] these things that we do represent and I talk about from my podiums which are well researched, portable and linkable, [3] the real truths out there and [4] and so forth) because anyhow I could do such a much better job than the guy we have in the Oval Office there now, hip-hoppin around on his wasteful taxpayer funded bus with his crew there) since money does help folks like me to decide on how to do so many things nowadays with the economy all gummed up the way it is thanks to the failed policies of the current administration which we had nothin to do with as I remember it from the past when those things were bein calculated and baled once my advisors and message typists did explain to me that the baleout had nothin to do whatsoever with farmin or farm equipment or animals per say, which learnin curve I must admit was a beast of burden for me to negotiate when I had all those things goin on, like the reality show to do and book writin and tweetin and facebookins that I had to keep up and on top of with, while balancin my busy personal appearance tours and acourse those duties of wife and mom which I far and widely have been known for throughout my history as can be plainly seen between those times which I will have to jam aside to decide and endorse the actual candidates that we have now, whether the ultimate winner will be Rick Perry, (who has been the head Governor of Texas for an inconsolably long period of time that I just can’t hardly imagine how anyone could get stuck with it for as long as that let alone more than two years youbetcha), or Mitt Romney who I don’t really know that well or am too familiar with his beliefs or special religious beliefs, not that there’s anything immoral or dangerous about those thoughts and myths, or Herb Cain who I have spoken about from time to time with regard to his Nine Nine Nine flavor of the week coupon deal, plus whoever else may jump into the race at the last minute if that is gonna happen which is why I’m gonna hafta wait till the right moment makes itself profitably clear for me to throw my growin and expandin base and support toward that one “King of the Hill” who will be the “top dog” in the upcomin race we have, not just for the future of our great land there but for the future of the great land of our forefather’s children and their offsprings to come is whatfor.

My Fifteen Minutes Is Like Playin That Game Beat The Clock Where You Have To Beat The Clock ... And So Forth

Doggonnit, youbetcha with all that’s goin on in this great land of ours and the world also across this great nation and me not bein a part of it cuz I’m just about almost irrelevant and very untimely now finally for the first time since me and Jomcain and Joe The Plumber were back there talkin bout all the things that Obaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa was gonna do to mess up this wonderful land that our forefathers did for us back then in those times, (and speakin of Joe The Plumber, I think I was told somethin about him runnin for an office or such appointment soon maybe, so I’m gonna keep my phone line handy in case he wants me to trot myself on out there for many supportin words and sentence fragments of encouragement and endorsable opportunities on the bus with appropriately sized banners and portable podium and plug-in microphone adapters that I have handy to be able to set up at a moment’s notice at a mall or stadium or high school gymnauseum or lodge or hotel lobby or banquet room or church basement or town square or arena or stadium or ballpark or cafeteria or garage sale or community picnic or bowlin alley or open house or public park or rooftop or barn or lighthouse or chicken coop or dentist’s office or convenience store or boat launch or airport or train depot or taxi stand or hardware store or anywhere actually) but anyway it seems my handlers and packers and wordfolks are havin a hard time comin up with snappy and barbable things for me to say about all of those current topics which escape me at the moment, so I’ll have to get back to you on that (try as my staff might, bless them so) and so forth with Rick Perry ridin that rollercoaster campaign of his with the debates all mucked up there so he can hardly tell what he means to say, and then Herb Cain with the outrageous advertisements and statements and tax plans which are bein gone over by those tax professionals there provin to be not so good as those deals that he says they’re gonna be now that we look at them, and that Michele Bachmann, who did steal my spotlamps back then when she announced that she was gonna file those papers and parchments in the tradition of our foundin leaders back then about runnin for President with those same debates (and bless her so with all those little headaches runnin around her house there plus too the migraines) before I announced finally that I was gonna to not run after askin for all those big piles and sacksfull of money sacks that I had my Sarahpac sock away for me, workin the phones for my moneybags there, up to the last minute before I sacked those plans and bagged my potential there to be able to checkout on whether to register to be leadin our great land with all of its hills and valleys (Ovally) because for some reason I was told that I thought I could actually stick with a job for more than 2 years after all this time of me bein on my recent career after leavin the Alaska shift back then when I was tapped, plus Mitt Romney there sayin this and that one day and then sayin that and this the next day to be contra-compatible with those things and speeches that he has previously put out there before and after as well as for and against himself sometimes whenever to the delightmentary entertainment of those lamestream media folks out there who just love to trip ya up like that Katie Couric did to me but that was a long time ago when she did these things, askin me all sortsa questions about what I could and couldn’t read in those mornings before I was in the business of gassin up the big One Notion Bus parked out back and havin those books written with me and the speeches that I give and do, so that there’s hardly any time left for me to criticize the President on his weak leadership skills that I have been told about and thus has led to the capture and eliminations of those threats to our security and those terrorist leaders like Osama and Kadafy over there that were in my opinions just the continuatory policies that were paved down from the previous administration’s infractures with all their ground works and pipelines that were laid down for him to follow in after all these years of trenchin and of course we can’t and should not give him credit for all of these new and current things at all because leadin from behind is the thing we say about him that seems to be catchin on with the folks from coast to coast cause it’s so easy to say and chew and remember and we wouldn’t be caught dead throwin him a doggone dogbone or tossin him a table scrap of crumbpraisement for cryin out loud on what may be easily confused as a job well done, or maybe even so a so-called accomplishment, although I did recently slip up that one time and criticize someone on the Fox News who said somethin bad about me about somethin I had said bad about someone else that I couldn’t just leave alone, I had to pick at it like a sore and of course had to fire back because of my thin skin and whatnot but that seemed to backfire up me and to drop me down there with my relevant coverage on the programs that I usually appear on all the livelong day when I can travel to there, or if not from my own home studio (which is actually in my own home) with the scenic vistas and slides that have my rear projections there for the people to see and hear on those fair and balanced broadcasts that are beamed outforth accordin to those plans for the segments that we bring to the real Americans who are still with us for the time that I have left until I find somethin else to do since there seems to be time runnin out lately for me to do them which does make me sit in wonderment and gaze out across the hills and valleys about whether the fifteen minutes that I get durin those televised segments are gonna still be up or not soon.

There She Goes Again Makin Goofs and Gaffs Followin In My Footsteps Like I Did But Bless Her Anyway ... And So Forth

Goshdarnit, bless her yknow what with all those kids to keep track of plus the pressures of the debate when all the staffs and folks jump ship off your campaign like rats off a sinkin kayak but it is kinda nice to let her enjoy these dwinderful moments now, doin what I did back then, followin in my footsteps there with my wardrobes and my outfits and my lipsticks and my pitbulls and my catchy sayins and my form-fittin speeches and Jomcain the Mavrik and now my One Notion tour bus (and Joe the Plumber I forgot him) I got goin steamroller-rinkin over to a mall or parkin lot across this great nation to continue our forefathers doin’s (only from the historical stagecoaches), as Paul Revere did through Lexington and Concord and Welch's warnin the folks which reminds me it's such a crimnible shame how the lamestream media jumps all over poor Michele like they did me when she makes one simple batch of goofs like I did with facts and such, like that one time Katie Couric pounced out at me when I couldn't remember my mornin papers and cereals but I do wish Michele Bachmann all the best, really I really do with the pitiful windin down there for these methods by the Real Americans to take part in those discussions she engagles us with and to take our country back before time runs out all across this great land for us.

I am So Dearly Beloved Gathered Together Here And Whatnot By the People of Pollland That They Keep Me In Their Percentages There And So Forth …

Gosh yaknow it’s just so benevolutionary for me to be held in such high rigord by the folks of Pollland out there, keeping me up in the national agendas and ticker tapes there, two percentage points ahead of the Newtgrinch there but right on up there, although there is such a drastic change between the Romney numbers bein 26% and my numbers bein 7%, but that’s the great advantage of livin here in the real America from coast to shinin sea, as I’ve said before again, the choice to choose your choices and youbetcha the courage of our forefathers to develop those measures that we do dearly hold up and preach about to this day, sometimes from a bus, sometimes whenever a microphone or such listening devices are shoved into our faces, waitin for a quick-thinkin reply and these things that the lamestream media and gotcha journalism folks live for every day on the airwaves and across the seas and oceans where we are sought out for commentary and opinions, which do so keep me there in the public’s eye right in front of their faces everytime ya reach for the remote, or grab a snack and so forth, but no matter what happens in my varied and regulated career, even those who would write books against me and my family there, the great people of Pollland do so keep me in their charts and minds, because goshdarnit, yaknow folks out there will do justa bout anything for publicity and those things which they use against us with no shame at all, against me I mean and my family units and other thin-skinned members of my staff and so on, what with the book deals comin out and the naked spreadsheets showin all your glory off,

all up there twice as natural as the day you were born and all, sportin the hockey stick pushed out in front of our children’s faces for their innocent eyes to see and whatnot to get all 3-D in there toward the centers of attention gettin circles and other rigid shapes that our present-day shameful gotcha journalism of now (which was NOT the kinda thing I studied when I was goin to colleges) has degenitalized into, especially so and not irregagless of that that Katie Couric mob just waitin to jump ya from a hidden tent down around there, or else pounce on ya with some satellite broadcast live question unrehearsed gathering there, all unscreened and quite frankly, shocking from anywhere across this great nation of ours that our forefathers never could have imagined us to be with, possessin those freedoms and cellphones and remotes and video taped dvds and other wondrous shiny machines that we do so use to get the words out there to the real America, whether it be ONE if by land, TWO if by sea, or THREE if by bus and so forth ...

Anything She Can Do I Can Do Better And So Forth …

Goshdarnit, youbetcha I am shocked and frankly stupefied now with that young upstart Christine O’Donnell tryin to hone in on my speech talkin that I had announced way before she said she was gonna do upcomin Tea Party assembly, plus I had already packed a big bag to go onto my big bus and set aside big snacks there and also was brushin up on my big one-liners there that I was so patriotically known for back then with big Jomcain the Mavrik when I wagged my zingers out there with the lipsticks and whatnots and the pitbull moms, but seriously all you real Americans across this great land of ours, what am I gonna do now since I’ve already booked the driver and gone through the giant bus carwash with the exhaustin shine job, only to have my sheen dulled down first by that Michele Bachmann, and now by Christine O’Donnell, I mean snakes alive I’m gettin it from both ends here and whatnot, and plus then, as if that isn’t hard enough to understand, it was painstakingly told to me about this other double-bookin and so forth that the White House has engineered here with Obaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaama’s job speech (or so they say) at the same time as the GOP debatin comin up coincidentally and I mean crimony, I would have commented earlier on that but I was dealin with my own double stuff and so forth to be critical of all day long and so on.

Copycat Copycat Michele Bachmann Is Gonna Write A Book Now Just Like Me (But I Did It First Youbetcha And I Also Think Twice) Just Like All Those Other Things Now Happenin To Her (But Me First In Case You Were Wonderin) And So Forth…

Youbetcha goshdarnit, there is nothin that woman (Michele Bachmann I mean) won’t do to grab the limelights and so forth and now with this soon-to-be upcomin altarbiology of hers comin, (I did it first in case anyone’s still listenin to my trills and trails across this great land of ours there, greetin and meetin folks atop my large bus from place to mall but seriously real Americans need to bless her — because of all those little headaches runnin around her house like gerbils in a tent — that do so keep her inconfident — plus that indoorsman husband she’s got, submittin her 24/7 and also the candidacy she’s blastin about at the drop of some hat there in the debate ring cycle) grabbin up the slack I pre-slacked down for her, with me poppin up like twenty-one rainy-day toadstools, one jump street ahead of the lamestream media (similar to that Katie Couric bunch, waitin to leapfrog me with some Jack-in-the-bag gotcha question to chuck at me like a reptile out of a paper sack to fillup their blogs and so forth) seein if I’m decidin to run from another office again while tryin to keep one forefathered footstep ahead of Michele Bachmann’s focus-absorbin ways too, but I do wish her all the best, really I do, leadin from behind there in my tracks for her to step right in it.

Gosh Yaknow It Seems As Though That Michele Bachmann Is Kinda Like a Frankenstein Monster Runnin Around The Village There Goin “GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR” And Whatnot But I Helped To Make Her What She Is Today And So Forth…

Goshdarnit yaknow I just feel so compressed to comment on these explosions that Michele Bachmann seems to be detonatin here with her controversial remarks about the hurricanes and the punishments that she believes were the results of these judgments brought down from up above and on high there whereas, because I do so feel responsible for her in a way, since she did follow in my foresteps of the footfathers, in the way that I followed in the footsteps of our forefathers across this great land of ours so that the real Americans out there may be able to take part in my One Notion bus expedition and showboat tour in these open areas where we stopover in the course of this great land, and for my part although Michele Bachmann does seem to be gettin all the highlights and attention spans that I used to be gardnerin (even with all those little headaches runnin around her house and plus her migraines that she speaks about at the drop of a head there when she apparently brings her own Mr. Microphone to those podiums that I used to step up onto when I was with Jomcain the Mavrik while we were goin around politically correctin things to the way they should be goin which unfortunately is not the way that they went even with my snazzy outfits and snappy sayins and lipsticks) I do so wish her and so forth all the best currently on her trail really although I am saddled with the responsibility for creating this so-called monster that has been unleashed upon the public in much the same way that folks there on the other side of the isle think that Jomcain the Mavrik saddled and unleashed a little-known then later-known temp Alaska Governor and full time candidate there, gosh, just a kid from a small town who worked her way through journalism schools and whatnot and became a contestant in this great democratic system that we do have her for us here these days that we’re so dearly afraid is bein takin away from us and that we have to get back soon, hopefully by 2012 with our tours and speeches backin up those things such as the natural disasters caused by the current administration with their counterlocomotionwise unwise ways that we are being subjected to by the First Lady with her strict dietary guidelines that we must all adhere to, which that Michele Bachmann there does touch on when she mentions that the government thre is on the morbid obeastity diet with all the spending that Obaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaama and his mini onions are doin there in Washington, and plus have we decided to know how much his family spends on those vacations and their clothing allowances like they did that to me (since I do know a thing or two about the clothings expenses that growin girls need and there are two of them the last time I counted, growin up like weeds over there in the White House especially with those ways that their mother has them eatin all of those genetically approved foods and what not and so forth, not to mention their grandmother with her exotic diets and nutrients) like remember that one time when I got the new wardrobes (which golly, I have to remember to return such things before too long or if they go out of style there) as if I was the one who became some sort of monster out there as we seem to have created with Michele Bachmann these days sayin these Frankenstein sayins about punishments the way she is going on about them I ask?

So Many Things And Charts Out There Askin About Who They Want Made Me Make Up One That Includes Me Youbetcha So I Got In On It And So Forth ...

Recently so many polls have been comin out askin those great folks in this grand land of ours across the country here how many GOP candidates we got goin here nowadays, and are there enough of them runnin around here campainin, like that Michele Bachmann who stole all my thunder there back then, and Mitt Romney up there with his big houses that aren’t big enough for him and so on, plus Rick Perry who kinda stole the thunder from that Michele Bachmann (who, again, kinda stole all my thunder there back then and so on, bless her and so forth with all those kids runnin everywhere and the headaches bouncin off her noggin up there, goin to and fro and such like a bat in a cave there), and also too the kindly Huntsman is also runnin out there still, plus also others who haven’t announced yet (LOutLOL) and others who I can’t think of anymore since most of the graphs and charts I care about have to be doin with me and whether or not I’ll be runnin from another office soon which I still keep danglin around like a carrot on a stick of cheese in front of a big mouse goin round and round in circles the way they do, round and round in a wheel and so forth, and goshdarnit, yaknow I thought it was about time for me to make one of my own measurements of this data — those that I found to be most popular with me and my snatchphrases and soundnibbles that I have become accustomed to, and the real Americans out there have become expectant of me to be with concernin these polls, because I must admit I find these statics to be quite amusin when I they are yaknow, broken up and down and so forth for my behoofs (by my handlers and packagers) and I do so get a cackle out there, with me bein down at the lower ends of such percentages shown, so graphic as they extemporale me to be, but youbetcha I do put myself directly in the hands and faces of the real Americans out there across this great land of ours which was so patriotically set down by our forefathers who did not have the benefits that we have here today now with the Reuters and the Harris surveys and the other things there with Paul Revere and such rides, or even the telegraph situations with those telephone polls ringin along there, and don’t forget the brave federal pony expresses gallupin’ along there (and bell ringin, I forgot about that earlier) so I do so feel that the strong faiths I allocate with the real American peoples at those places will show me and them just how and exactly up where they will want me to fit into the future and whatnot of our politics as they see it (and would want me to be a part in) yaknow to be able to be a great stick off of this great tree of liberty system we have here juttin out for us, and to so dearly want to take back, limb by branch and so on.

Why Take Time Off From Your Job And Go Onto Vacations And Such To Martha’s Vineyard’s When You Can Just Quit Your Job And Do Things Halfway, Even Hobbies Right There In The Middle Of It Like I Did And So Forth...

Goshdarnit, while glidin along here upon my peripathetic bus, I pause and then start thinkin again soon after I snap back about the attention-gettin tictacs that my fellow Governor Rick Perry (except he had his governingship’s job a smidge longer than I did and whatnot) and also addin to those retractable things is all of the scene-stealin behaviors and crazy antiques that Michele Bachmann’s been tearin straight outta my playbook up and all over the lamestream medias these days, but first yaknow acourse —I just wanna say — bless her highly so, and so forth — what with all those multipludes of children to keep track of (and kudzus to her for doin that, especially with those horrid and mental stability-doubtin and debliteratin headaches she’s got runnin wild up in there, plus her husband bein outta the house workin who knows what hours, with his controversial clinics there takin government fundings and then him spendin it by tryin to turn this into that and so forth) so I'll take any kinda publicity that I can be absorbin throughout this great land of ours any old way it comes, as I travel from coast to shore on my immeasurable bus with our members of my family, all actively heritagin the national gratifications of the real Americans as we vantraipse along here with my pride and patriotisms sung so very dearly and closely to my heart and also to my phone plans, (but don’t get me wrong, we are no professional musicians or things like that and gosh, if you ever heard me sing you’d know youbetcha that I was no Stephen Songheim or anyone like that), but as we merrily go along, just as our forefathers would have wanted us to be, me with my porta-podiums to places whenever I goh and wherever I can set them up to stand and deliver my speechbursts and so forth,

punchanjudilly opposite from the bus shenanigans that Brack Obaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaama’s doin, and plus yaknow, runnin off to Martha’s Vineyard’s and such places where I wouldn’t even probably be able to fit our great big huge mammoth motor vehicle onto (because it’s so exclusionary there — which by the way — I wouldn't have done anyhow because of my image to uphere to) therefore finally now, I bring myself to be rapidly trumpeted to ask all of you real Americans out there within the range of the sound of the thrashold of my voice, this important question which is yaknow, foundated upon the very own personal experiences from me, and here it is I ask you: why in the free world would anyone take a vacation from a full-time job and such, when ya can just up and quit, right in the middle of it, and then once you get freed-up up from those bindin ties, you can go onta do other things (to be able to do) that he did (right at the end of the summer economical tourist season there and all) so that’s why when I was asked about whether I would do such a disrespectfully arrogant thing to the hard-workin American people, I unanimously said these responses in reaction to him rubbin our noses right into it there (those noses which are also placed right in front of our faces) put out of joint (our patriotic noses in front of our real American-faced nose-faces out there) so of course when my opinions and updates were so dearly and rabidly sought after as they often are durin those primetimes when these controversial White House flares are sparked up by those Washington cabinets and so forth (with who knows what-all traditions and ceremonies and other mysterious rituals they’re doin and makin-over now in our nation’s capital there that we wanna take back and so forth concernin our presidencies) I expressed them from my position there under the lights and lenses and such other opticals (when I was specifically asked in those phrases and words) as to whether or not I’d ever be goin on a vacation there at such a time as this (as if I would ever be in that situation to do so, land snakes alive — which is why I do so love to go onto that TV show there because yaknow I feel as though they have elevatored me to soaringly elected offices) which then acourse gets those wishin and hopin and prayin ideas bachrached into the folk’s minds out there, it only makes sense that they continue to warwick my once dusty thinkin patterns and utterances (since, after all, I am springfielded over there at the Fox networks and so forth to be a pandit)

therefore I do garner up my thoughts and prompt myself to respond after carefully honin in on that vacation subject matter (of whether I woulda done such a thing like desert the American people) — well acourse naturally I eventually yaknow said youbetcha — no — I most absolutely would not have definitely and or certainly would have yaknow not (as if like I said before that I’d ever get the goshdarn chance anyway (LOoutLOL)), I mean about bein President and all, even though at present since I don’t want to step on Rick Perry’s toes or smash down on Michele Bachmann’s foot or anything, I still haven’t fully decided whether or not I’m gonna get into the races there once I get my mojones back from Governor Perry if and ever if he stops bein all Texas about things and plus also when I get those things back from that Michele Bachmann once she stops bein all whatever the heck she’s doin around here (bless her and whatnot) in those electoral traditions that we were chasin after, not so long, long ago that one time back when with Jomcain the Mavrik and Joe the Plumber and his identities up there with us on the rallyforths, stringin along with us like a third wheeler there, glimmerin with all the lights and the attentions and wireless microphones and other fashion-ready devices that I had bedraped upon me for my maximum exposurabilities (not discountin those markedly-priced chinstraps and neck-firmin devices and powdered means and so forth (and you ladies out there don’t be submissive and so on about makin the outsides look and feel like the insides of yourself look and feel, because as the famous sayin goes, “you feel as young as your looks make you feel” there)) with those continued whistlestops and weathered effects upon us then across this great land of ours, and besides, speakin of that big expensive wasteful bus that the President newly ordered at the snap of his big fingers with that big thumb thumbin his nose at us there, which again, Charlie, was such a, such a dearly big and squanderfully fritterful abuse of those precious American funds durin this nationally glum economy time and so on, and also don’t forget the recessionary things goin on here today to be able to do it at this poverted time (the lavish vacations, where he keeps goin away at, to places we don’t get into there and again, with his continued luxurious thumbs in our workin class noses toward us) so in this vane, I’m gonna delinernate some projects that I have done halfway, insteada runnin off durin full times I had, which is what I started off to make this entry a subject of when I first mentioned it, oh gosh, I’d say wayback about 15 miles down the road there — that it is to a large extent much more easier to quit a job and to be movin on up and so forth, than it is to just take a break from it (even though when you started it, you and many others out there thought you’d be havin a particular job for maybe even twice as long as you kept it) and aloofly jetoff on your secret service uneconomical bus, especially when there’s more opportunistic opportunities to take over and behoove yourself with, which is what I’ve been doin since resignin from the Alaska job that I rained over for specifically half of that elected time, so here at last, are some of those suggestions and maybe you can do them too in half of your spare time like I did trendfully so, such as for instance, NUMBER ONE, bakin a half a cake

since we know it’s so important to have mostly fair and balanced foodstuffs, but not in the way that Michelle Obama’s tryin to stuff foods into our children’s future mouths and down the real throats of the American people, I mean goshdarnit that’s just not gonna fly around the buttermilk anywhere near my tables and so forth near here, as I have said previously in regards to those ideas of hers that just tip those scales a little too far off balance toward our overweight national children and so on, but the half a cake idea is good because FOR ONE, it only takes half the time that you’d be wastin on it by spendin the full time on a whole cake, and then FOR ANOTHER, you could go on to do other things usin the other half of your bakable time that you didn’t use, for example here’s ANOTHER SECOND HALF OF AN ADDITIONAL IDEA BASED ON THE SECOND PART OF THE FIRST HALF here, intended for those people still with me, especially if you’re the kinda personality like I am, and also are always lookin for broadcastingly speechable attractions to be latchin yourself into, such as a carnival or sideshow or a state fair which I did recently there in Iowa and so forth

or or any old place that draws a mob — then gather round folks (LOutLOL) and listen to this SECOND IDEA HERE (HURRY HURRY UP AROUND HERE AND SO ON) so then how about growin half of a beard for your face

so then you could goh set up some stools and get one of those mountable podiums or such quick-buildable bleacher-like seatin arrangements, especially if there’s not enough room there in the parkin lot or you didn’t call ahead for the permits and so forth, and become a part-time sideshow attraction, since then you’d have all the local built-in natives captivated nearby and right there to listen to the text screechages across this great land of ours that propel out of my face, makin my pronoun cements heard, and plus it would definitely keep their attentions spanned and so forth for your talkin points (the half-beard) since they always would be wonderin which side of your face you were talkin out of (plus you could be doin it as part of such attractions or if a traveling show comes to town with oddities of nature which you could possibly do from a tent on a part-timed basis also only again, taking up half of your time) but if that's not for you, then ONE OTHER THING YOU COULD DO if you’re like me and you get sicka doin things before they’re all the way finished (and gosh most folks here that listen to and soak up my sound-wells mostly are like me), like say you're tired of presidin over a house which happens sometimes after the second year of doin somethin or whatnot, then you just could get rid of half of it but — however please do so be careful crossin the street though, 

because it could be dangerous to be doin it if you don’t look both ways, and the medias will have to restart their movie clips of you with the papparatzies askin ya to retake this and reshoot that and start over again so we can get a good shot and all of those Hollywood terms that they used also too with my movie premiere out there met with hostility and neglect, called “The Undefeated” which lukewarmly was received and faintly so by the public out there, which remind me, you could also half-do a movie there, FOR EXAMPLE HERE THIS THING TO DO when in the middle of a movie if you wanta, just get up and walk right out right when you want to durin the middle if it’s unbearable 

or just not worth it with all the high prices that those films and events cost, not to mention the retractable red carpet that we paid good money for thanks to the nationalistic and generous donations from our friends across this great land of ours,

so if you can’t donate as much as you’d like to, you can always donate half and so forth with these ideas that may provide some guidance as I like to do for the country and our nation, as the forefathers would have me do to hold the attentions of the history makers nearby and also in our not too recently passed ages of long ago were.

I Am Now Able To Be Additionally Franchised And Solutized On An As Needed Basis Across This Great Land Of Ours And So Forth …

Yaknow goshdarnit, now that I do so have an immensely great deal of time on my hands and whatnot due to all the active ignorin that the reporters and such lamestream media individuals and so on are actively doin now moreso at me because of those things that “You-Know-Who, Mother of the Year and Have It All It Gal” Michele Bachmann is doin by spongin up all my former attentions and glares that I usesta be able to get while on and off my trails and so forth, I have moments in time to sit on the big bus here and there and seemingly everywhere to be able to ponder what it is that my next expansions will be, as I reach out to outreach from town to town in this great land of ours which provides us with many deli meats, national opportunities and components that are bein so recklessly squandered by the Obaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaama administration especially now so pointily with him skedaddlin off there to Martha’s Vinyeards and such resort producin industries designed for and by the elites and out-of-touch friends that he pals around with in Washington and other controversial places and crowds in those other states there where they all gather like a gang and such posse-like groupings to hang out and relax while the rest of us hard-workin Americans around those other less chillable abodes toil daily and so very hard also to be able to make ends meet in the middle for themselves which I can relate to since that is what I am used to be doin throughout my livelihood as a mom and worker there while continually comin up with and bein given some thoughts and ideas which entrail such “product placements”

which I could do a good job at, since I am clever at talented at fusing myself into major situations and things wherever and whenever I go to trillabout this or that, or praps some other fixations that I could do would be, yaknow, to be able to become a spokesspeaker for many events and movements that turn out to be popular across this country here, where I take the time to meet and greet the so many folks out there followin in the traditions of our presently lifeless forefathers back there in history as brush-strokedly described in those oil paintings and renderings that we see and admire in our nation’s capital and other places such as museums and theme parks where I have also gone to also too and visited and remarked upon with wonderment mixed up with hefty pride and patriotism, which I have always held onto for myself and inserted into my children even before we leased-to-own the large bus for our family trips that are followed like a ball of yarn by a kitten there, with all the folks gatherin round in the parkin lots and other areas there expressin an interest in every single thing I and we do, from winkin my eye to blowin my nose to chippin a nail or eatin outdoors or goin through a cow barn which was lots of fun that time durin the Ohio State Fair or was it back over in Iowa, we’ve been to so many loads of places in such a goshdarn hurry that I get em all mixed up and so forth out there across these great state-run areas that we pull over at, with the time zones all there and such continental divides and vistas that we are barely able to take all in at once or even twice and write about, which I manage to do now and here up-to-the-minute-like from our very extremely large and growin bus which speaks to our extremely large and growin base of fans in the real America somewhere where my future plans for these spokesgigs

and representational occupations which I am prepared to do will effectively positively affect the general public out there who otherwise would have to be relied on to figure out these things by themselves if it weren’t for me bein so affected and in addition, the fair and balanced medias that I affiliate myself with from time to time, and I don't know, even those speechcasts from my own home studio (which was my former rumpus room once I got those large hockey sticks and such ice-related mimeobilia moved outta there and into a goshdarn storage pod and such substantial unit down there) with the screens there near my rear projections and sometimes guest-hosted by the public persons who congregate these broadcasts and invite me to invite them into my own home by invitation only, namely Greta Van Susteren and Hannity and sometimes the Bill O’Reilly program host also too which I have always found yaknow, to be just so inciteful for me to be on whenever my team of trundable assistants and staffscads are able to poke out the time for me to sit down and get all powder-and-paint ready for the lights and cameras, which I can do at the drop of a dime which should prove to all of you potential hirers out there that I am so very dearly adaptable and possess such cat- and Gumby-like readiness to be able to pounce into this or that hat or shed into and out of such different skins and other exterior looks, available at a momentous moment’s moment to push out or endorsify whatever may be needin a boost-up out there in the national derisions that are available to our treacherously-balanced free society held in the balance here, that we once had which I constantly declare about for us to take back from wherever the present administration is takin it to (wherever that scary and unpatriotical place may be there) which is maybe why my mammothly gigantic bus goes to so many places to find where the country’s goin these days, and if of course, if I could be of any possible help whatsoforth in, like say,

me bein a country finder or such locator, then that would be somethin I’d be more than in high spirits to do while we’re just burnin daylight and gasoline these days across here, or so it seems through this great land of ours in between keepin up with the current harvest of candidates out there which may or may not include me (LOutLOL) or not because I’m still around here youbetcha, just kinda twistin in the wind with my “maybe I will or maybe I won’t will” do this or run from that to be found out later if we keep the folks around there to be able to be on “stay tuned” stratus and so on while I absorb myself with my many pronoun cements and potential just-a-positions and hirin opportunistic arrangements that will be able to — like the aforesaidabout Gumby, as I did so abovemention before — fit into, or more correctly interweave and bend myself into as the cases may be for that belovedly friendly animated (or so my movement specialists inform me is more rightly called) “stopped-motion” green beast from our past childhoods, crammed and chalk fuller moral teachings durin those short film espadrilles, with Pokey there and so forth and Davey and Sally plus the other clay-headed figurines with the moveable mouths that we do so adore from primetime to time in our history of televised learnings, when we were positioned in front of those televised entertainments much like those terracotta characters in there, providin us with so many hours of amusements and perhaps for me in the future they can and will hopefully provide me with so many more springform opportunities for me to be able to further those very esteemed amusements available across the airwaves (to be able to add to them and so forth) and such other yaknow, technical mediums to be able to reach out to the real Americans out there in the heartlands and placed unto the very feet of our democratic systems of governing (which I and my family do so cherish from our travelin cavalcade here) which is bein threatened, as I do so go on and on and on about endlessly, while the President goes on and off, runnin off there to thumb his nose with his big thumb stuck out there right into our very eyes and right beside our very noses while also rubbin those same noses into it while on vacation and not workin thank you very much, while enjoyin time with his family on our precocious taxpayer dollars and cents, or so they say he will be doing, because yaknow of course this is all bein viewed through the lamestreamed lens of those lamestreamed media lenses out there, with their trick questions like that one time with Katie Couric when she asked me oh, goshdarnit I don’t know what-all about what I was sposeta know about the print journalism that I was sposeta be informed of since acourse to a degree, I did sposta earn a degree in journalism once I got outta all those endless places of higher matriculatory learnin colleges, and then when it was my turn, I walked boldly and confidently across the stage with that sassy sash, oh wait for cripes sakes — that was the Miss Alaska Game Show contest (LOutLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) that I was entranced into — I got em all mixed in up there because see, golly yaknow youbetcha that even definitely proves my point youbetcha right now, that there are so many vastly detailed and followed things that I have done and will be able to do which proves once again my spirit of Claymation and adaptability

for future hirin opportunica which I will display here graphically (pictures I mean not graphs although I do want some pie now come ta think of it since I mentioned graphs because I always think of pie when I think up graphs) to jump myself upon there, up onto potential platforms and bosses and sponsors and so on, so thank you so very much for your time in these rich and fruitfilled matters and so forth as we drive along down the roads and pathways and also don’t forget those many canyons, valleys and crevices that our great nation holds for the future of our children before it’s all thrown down the pan there and we end up at the back of some dark alley out there one night without those things which are historically treasureable while we still have them to seek out and boldly go where no van has gone before and so on with our treks or also too by bus.

So The Big Bus Tours Were My Idea In The First Place, But I Guess The Most Sincere Form Of Flattering Is Invitation And So Forth ...

So goshdarnit, whose idea was it thank you very much anyway to have a gigantic bus tour and then be able to crisscross from here to there, I ask all of you good and real Americans out there in this great land of ours (if I may be so bold as to put forward that question, youbetcha) because it was not the current President of the United States, thank you very much again in case you were wonderin, even though now when I look up upon the monitors we have here installed into the big bus, what do I see before my wanderin eyes appearin on the newsfeeds and programs pray tell (plus also too my handlers and face bookin writer staff and twit content advisers have advised me of these turns of events), but the product of the lamestreamers out there is what I see, that’s what, actually and shockingly those Katie Couric type trick makers and tripper uppers are coverin the bus tour by Brack Obaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaama, as if he invented it and so forth, but nope, lemme tellya it was I that did it and this is actually how it all happened originally really from me, thinkin back here and now for you I will do, with my thoughts and whatnot and it goes a little somethin like this story:

Once upon a time one day as I was goin back home rather enhurriedly from one of my many speeches and rallies across this great land of ours (because I was afraid some wicked old witch was gonna take my country away from me and us and so forth which kinda is what has happened, but it was a he and not a she but anyway), as I was runnin home to my Auntie Dem (who has some political beliefs that differ from mine but I still respect her opinions and am open to her delicious crullers and such just-rised baked goods and breakfasts and wholesome mid-western type meals which is funny, considerin I’m from Alaska, but that’s neither near nor there) to tell her all about Obama Gulch, who was gonna come and take my country away, but Auntie Dem wouldn’t listen to me because she was too busy gettin her chicks all lined up in a row out there in the barn,

so she told me that there was no time for my idiotic foolhardyness as she put it and so on, bless her heart the old thing, but then right after I told her that even, right there from my house where I see so many things includin Russia, guess what I see comin right inside the house and through the front door, it’s Old Obama Gulch ridin up there just like I predicted,

because apparently in this great land of ours, folks can elect just anyone and so on with voters and the media exposures swayin folks this way and that way, just as it happened here in this great heartland that we cherish and so forth, which made me very frightened and also too made me want to take our country back from wherever Obama Gulch was gonna take it away to, and enabled me to be able to decide to capture drastic actionable actions which eventually transformed into me runnin away on a big bus and spreadin the warnin words wide and far out there like a vast net of words, a kindle to what Paul Revere did when he made those historical Midnight Special rides goin through the towns back then, ringin those bells around Bunker’s Hill and Lexington, Concord and Welch’s to warn the people set up in New England there by our forefathers and such historical heroes that I do so admire highly and so forthly, and also those whom I also numerously plus repeatedly bring up to speak of and touch at with my speechcasts projectiled out there, so durin which time just then all of a sudden, the bus gets muscled around by all these frightenin and dangerous winds comin from where else, from the left, I mean comin from the West, but I can’t be sure because everythin gets really dark and cloudy and scary right up there under our noses, right there in front of our very real American faces out in the open there, so quickly then, I decide to head back home to Auntie Dem, but wouldn’t yaknow it, the reinforced door to the bunker was locked,

so there I am, by myself alone out there all stranded and whatnot, with the wind blowin, and the laundry and the hosiery twistin in the wind back there, rustlin up the barn and the cowhouse, so then inside I go to be able to hide under my bed or some such area there and suddenly out of the pane I get a knock upside my head all of a sudden and so forth, which makes me see things in a different way from out my window there (which then at that momentous moment gave me an idea about creatin the present-day bus rides we have here, that I thought up first) but first, with all the things I saw which are somewhat unbelievable for me to be sayin but trust me youbetcha, they really did burst forth right straight outta my head, for example first, from my house where I am able to see such things from, up into the big twister I went, and while I was gettin all twisted, among the unbelievable peoples and things I saw around there who helped me along the way were (1) me, and (b) the many crowds of supporters who would continue to help me to form my large and expandin base,

so it was kinda like a picture window into the future and so on youbetcha, so off I go on down to greet my fans with my messages and things all in my basket of tricks and clichés and sayins and winks and other glitches that have become my trademarks, and along the way there I met all sorts of different citizens as I went down there followin the yellow bricks and such roads along to my ultimate destination which I was a little idiotically foolhardy of then,

but I knew in the back of my skull if I just kept sayin “I want our country back, I want our country back” over and over again until I was numb, then I’d be on the right track, no matter who got in my way along the road there, or who would steal my spotlight and so forth,

or say, perhaps maybe announced durin the GOP debate stage back then there that she was gonna file some papers and whatnot to run this and that (LOoutLOL) to be able to be elected unto this high office that she was gonna go for, even though I must say that I, youbetcha I do so wish her all the best, really I really really do, (what with all those kids to keep wrangled together and the headaches and so forth, and probably nobody ever home due to her husband also bein a career guy with his clinics and controversial therapies there (LOutLOL)) for her to be able to follow my highheeled footsteps there (that I paved the way for her to do back then when I was gettin all the attentions with my lipsticks and such snappy comments and sassy sayins and spitfire-type attitudes and shoot-em-up, lock and load wardrobes and leathers and such getups), so anyhow on I went, spreadin my words which I continue to do, so it really is my idea that all came to me in a dream back then as to how this bus tour brainchild was born, only to be copied I guess sadly and shockingly to me, but I should be flattered and so forth because as the sayin goes, “the most sincere form of flattering is invitation,” so I guess I invited those copycats and copykittens out there to imitate me because our ways are effective there across this great land of ours that we continue to travel off to see, brick by brick, toward that shinin city over there to be gotten to in our future, and with any luck hopefully in 2012 youbetcha, but insomuchas plus if we get to go there by followin the patriotic ways that our forefathers dreamed of also, just like I did in memory of all those lifeless historical figures of long ago then, and also yaknow, at the last stop of a long trip like that,

you learn that if you haveta go lookin for things out there that are right in your own backyard or from your house, like keys if you forget em like I always do — gosh I swear if my head wasn’t bolted into my neck I’d leave it on the kitchen table sometimes (LOutLOL) — or say maybe you forget your cellphone or even what you should be doin for the good of your country and so forth, when you eventually come to and wake up, you can be able to take a look around, and then say straight into the faces of the real Americans out there, and … well, aw what the heck, I’ll even include, just because, … oh goshdarnit Auntie Dem, … home’s no place like there!