Showing posts with label Newt Gingrich. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Newt Gingrich. Show all posts

Monday, August 6, 2012

The Curiosities Of Mars Are A Wonderful Question Mark For The Lunar Rover In Our Solar System And So Forth ...


Dogonnit, it is such a goshdarn wonderful event that I must weigh in on up there youbetcha for our continent across this great nation for us to be drivin the lunar rover onto those solar system planets with spooky Martian habitats that we have enjoyed from coast to coast, in those proud American traditions that Jomcain the Mavrik and I upheld durin the GOP convention down here on our own planet, with various discoveries, journeys and wardrobes that we were pressure fitted into across the universe (although we did not use space materials or heat-shieldin lipsticks then), much like those tours I now host on my One Notion Bus where we greet the real earthbound Americans to boldly blastoff to where no man has gone to before, much like Newt Gingrich, one of our forefathers, proposed about goin to the moon Alice, with its vast colonies and waterways, holdin several opportunities for us to take the country back in November, or at least move to a place where the weightless grip of socialism that has now entered our atmospheres there in Washington can be a far away thing (much like our Russian neighbor Alaska) to be jetted to go somewhere else, which is the great traditional way which commenced countdown with Paul Revere, ignitin upon his horse Rafalca, reachin for the stars while ringin those British bells to warn us all of the future exploratory operations to come someday in a galaxy far, far, up, up, and away.


Friday, November 4, 2011

Those Occupiers Blockin the Walls and Streets Are In The Way And Plus Are Also Creatin A Doggone Traffic Hazard For Progress In This Great Land And Just Need To Get A Job Or Just Stay Home or Go Away To Somewhere Else … And So Forth


Goshdarnit, boy howdy am I ever in high spirits youbetcha that there’s somethin goin on nationwide across this great land of ours that I can take parts in and weigh in on, with my large and expandin base, to be able to get on in there and criticize it about, when my facts are all spread out on cards for me, all easy-like (thank you very much Katie Couric) if you all care to remember that one time when I didn’t know what the jillikers I was audiatin about durin my roll-out (LOutLOL) concernin these so called protestors, but now I am informed enough to poke the stick of the flagpole that flies the flag of the real Americans at them out there through their homemade homes, those unsatisfied occupiers who are so much opposite from those common, down to earth regular folks that I drive by and wave to while ensconed into my big One Notion bus, spreadin words and phrases that I have become so dearly held up for as I go from podium to mall, parkin lot to staged events, rallyin the folks around me like Paul Revere did at Lexington, Concord and Welch’s, ringin and ridin, singin and chidin, plus and also too turnpikin down the roadways and dirtpaths and grottoes laid down these long and many years ago which have become parchmented values preserved in our museums and old books set down by our great, lifeless forefathers who currently are buried under this great nation into those sacred grounds and cemeteries that I pass over and uphold for the sake our nation, and to take the country back from people like Obaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamaa and those Street Occupiers there, walled off under those unsanitated tents and smell-filled “lean-tos” composted of close quarters that they have trespassed up because of the failed policies of the current administration which thankfully allow me to continue barrelin through the crowds with my speechforths, (but I better watch it with my direct language there about drivin through crowds since that has actually happened, or so they say these things have indeed taken place there on those tent cities, so I guess apparently that’s what Occupational hazards mean for those radical elements, and also too I should give it a rest because back when I used to say those things about lock and load and reload with the targets on the district maps when we put all those violent images up on the interwebs for any crazy uncle to go off on, doubleplus so then when it really did happen with that shootin and for which we were so dearly sorry for, not that we had anything to do with that but to be sensible and just in case, we called our internet folks and so they spitspot took that graphic down youbetcha faster than Superman folds sheets on laundry day, and immediately displeased all of our responsibilities and liables in that area as quick as castor oil through grandma, but anyways I hope people forget about so many things we did in the past, so why the heck am I bringin it up now, well cuz I just guess I can’t stop once I get started on a tonguetrill over there with my wisdom-makins and opinionatin now from here in Buena Vista with the good views I can see out of) where I can look out across the land and latch onto these terrible times in our future that we have down the road for us which we are able to do now in the hopes that the optimism that once gripped this nation like an eagle with its powerful outstretched talents will swoop down again and reclaim all of the things that we lost so we can start from scratch and once again to take back them, boldly led by our soon to be chosen GOP candidate winner (who I don’t know or haven’t expressed an endorsement for yet since things are so up in the air) which is certainly takin its own sweet time by jing, what with the “touchy-feely” issue goin on there with Herb Cain and those accusers poppin out of a cake like in those stageshows and burlesques, and that crazy speechmakin that Rick Perry did the other day with his loose gesturin and unconventional speech patterns with his googly eyes and hair, and then still there’s that Michele Bachmann, for cryin out loud why is she even still there still, but bless her anyway again, with those many children to be responsible for and the husband with his troubles with the controversial behavioral tictacs he uses, and acourse those imbalancin headaches, plus also Mitt Romney with his “which way do I put my shoes on like any other person on Monday or Wednesday in my big house with its strange religious customs and maybe I need to buy a bigger house so I can be livin in a bigger house” which leaves us in doubt about the other days of the week when he puts on his garments and which way the wind will be blowin for him to latch onto, and then there’s the others like Newt Gingrich with his wife Calistic, and her jewelry addiction and that severe and reflective helmethead hairdo that looks like she could cut glass with it (and maybe if she could, she should just do that at the Tiffanys store front window and just reach in and grab those gemstones and other shiny barbells and such things instead of runnin up all those credit card bills (LOutLOL)) so I will endorsificate somebody at some time in the future comin up to keep my relevant position in the industry not dried up like so many jobs and futures for our children that we sadly face and would have been avoided if me and Jomcain the Mavrik had been able to get on in there and legislate the other laws that we wanted to be there in place, and of course with me bein in charge of the Senate if I had been able to accept the award as Vice President durin those times when we tried to do it before my current career as “super booster” and mom and book writer and reality show actress and commentator and what-all across this great nation plus celebrity and other things.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

I am So Dearly Beloved Gathered Together Here And Whatnot By the People of Pollland That They Keep Me In Their Percentages There And So Forth …


Gosh yaknow it’s just so benevolutionary for me to be held in such high rigord by the folks of Pollland out there, keeping me up in the national agendas and ticker tapes there, two percentage points ahead of the Newtgrinch there but right on up there, although there is such a drastic change between the Romney numbers bein 26% and my numbers bein 7%, but that’s the great advantage of livin here in the real America from coast to shinin sea, as I’ve said before again, the choice to choose your choices and youbetcha the courage of our forefathers to develop those measures that we do dearly hold up and preach about to this day, sometimes from a bus, sometimes whenever a microphone or such listening devices are shoved into our faces, waitin for a quick-thinkin reply and these things that the lamestream media and gotcha journalism folks live for every day on the airwaves and across the seas and oceans where we are sought out for commentary and opinions, which do so keep me there in the public’s eye right in front of their faces everytime ya reach for the remote, or grab a snack and so forth, but no matter what happens in my varied and regulated career, even those who would write books against me and my family there, the great people of Pollland do so keep me in their charts and minds, because goshdarnit, yaknow folks out there will do justa bout anything for publicity and those things which they use against us with no shame at all, against me I mean and my family units and other thin-skinned members of my staff and so on, what with the book deals comin out and the naked spreadsheets showin all your glory off,




all up there twice as natural as the day you were born and all, sportin the hockey stick pushed out in front of our children’s faces for their innocent eyes to see and whatnot to get all 3-D in there toward the centers of attention gettin circles and other rigid shapes that our present-day shameful gotcha journalism of now (which was NOT the kinda thing I studied when I was goin to colleges) has degenitalized into, especially so and not irregagless of that that Katie Couric mob just waitin to jump ya from a hidden tent down around there, or else pounce on ya with some satellite broadcast live question unrehearsed gathering there, all unscreened and quite frankly, shocking from anywhere across this great nation of ours that our forefathers never could have imagined us to be with, possessin those freedoms and cellphones and remotes and video taped dvds and other wondrous shiny machines that we do so use to get the words out there to the real America, whether it be ONE if by land, TWO if by sea, or THREE if by bus and so forth ...