Where has all the money gone goshdarnit, youbetcha I have been told by my staff that some of those lamestream media types out there seem to be askin about me, and plus about those things with my Sarahpac when they were inter-nettin around, casting their webs far and widely out, beggin and blowin and so forth, collectin and askin for those handouts right up to the point where I decided to deprive myself of the office of the President up over in Washington, all the cash helpin me decide if I was gonna do it or not for this great nation of ours (run I mean) that was laid down by our forefathers for us to boldy go across this nation in my big One Notion bus with my family and yaknow perhaps it is true that the price of gas for my travels and maintenance has gone up since I started my speakin tour (not the kind of gas that comes out of my speakin, I mean the kind that goes into the machines and tanks that power this great country made and assembled by those hard workin real Americans who I do so believe in that are here legally of course I mean, except that all the jobs are bein siphoned away with a big socialist-type straw by the policies of Obaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamaa) and also speakin of straws, the price of saliva has salivated upwardly and quite rapidly as a result of our once growing but not stagnated economy to keep that big and shiny shine on the family One Notion bus so that we can glide effortlessly onto the next speakin engagements and assembly halls that we have booked (with my still ongoin book signins and speechyaps available on tapes and compacted disks not to mention the rhetorical tourblasts that I am invited to partake in with my snappy rhetoric that I am enriched with) thanks to my kickstart with the Jomcain involvement that I had with those early GOP stageshows which provided me with a rich broth of materials and wardrobes for my snappy sayins, pointy barbs and sassy fabrics that some folks said an arm and a leg was spent on to show that I did indeed did have controllable arms and legs which did not flail about (as my lamestream media enemies accused me of, like when that know-it-all Miss Katie Couric that one time when she tried to trip me up and push me to the journalistic ground with those trick questions which she learned about at her journalism school which I never was taught of at my journalism schools) which I was happy to demonstrate to the delight of the members of my enthralling audiences that did put me back in the mindsap of when I was involved in the Miss Alaska Pageant back then before I became the celebrity that I was transfirmed into to this day (especially around my jawline, and those neckrings if you look at some of the early pictures that are like “BEFORE” and “AFTER” which is quite horrible I must say again and again to be transparent about it, which is the terrible burden of double-standardization that we as moms in the public spotlights must endure which is what I went through first before that famous mom of all those kids that she talks about the minute the sun comes up over the mountain (Michele Bachmann) stole my limelights there some time ago and went onto go into the debatable shows there with her podiums and speechmakins with even more barbed comments about Brak Obaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamaa which first, I did not approve of because I didn’t think of it first, and second, I hate comin in runner up or second term) but speakin of that Miss Alaska pageant I did come in as a runner-up so I had to grin and bear it back then to show that I was a “team player” which practiced me up good for those shows with Jomcain the Mavrik and Joe the Plumber when he could get to those events (and by the way, I am still waitin for him to call me to beg for my overwhelming support with my large and expanding base to tilt his way onto his political goals and futures) as I have so much time now on my hands and other limbs which are again, fully controllable and functional, to help promote and endorsify others there that do tote the party favors for us like-minded institutionals to follow through on to be part of this Grand Old Team Party of ours, where we want so dearly much youbetcha to take the country back from where it is now, wherever that is so that when we find it and can take it back, we will bring it there for us to get things goin again finally in the right direction for a second time instead of bein Shanghai’d away from us, which does sound Socialist-like if you ask me which is dangerous for our country these days in the current administration for us which we do not believe in, bein a democracy-lovin nation as we found we had been founded on in the past history by those foundin fathers who now lie lifeless and spinnin in their graves over what the heck has happened dog-gonnit since they rode those horses in circles in the town squares sayin “One If By Land” and “Two If By Sea” and so forth to which I have adhesively stuck to and followed patriarchtically (as those founding dads did indeed do) in those tire-tracks of history and such things, therefore I say “Three if by Bus” with my gigantic One Notion vehicle that we speak of with the full tanks of expensive gas and spit shinins which are indeed cost-inhibbible without these Sarahpacs of money, so again thanks so much for the Sarahpac infrusions of donor cash which support me in this incoming time of greater than even need for me and my family time since now I have so much more of it to spend with them and on them the last time I checked those things.
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