Goshdarnit I Got My Foot Stuck In It Again By Givin The Big Scoop To Someone Else So I Outfoxed Myself That Time ... And So Forth

Goshdarnit, my air time seems to be gettin kinda thin like when I’d go to high up in the mountains up in Alaska when I’d pass out to be unconscious all those times but recently I guess the on air time has been thin cuz I got yelled at by the owner of the Fox News programs about that one time I announced (finally for cryin’ out loud it took me forever it seemed) when I wasn’t gonna be able to run for the President job because of my conflictin schedule of events across this great land, and so when I did finally say “no, I shall not be able to do it my great American friends but keep sendin money anyway just in case”, I didn’t spill the ‘no run beans’ on those Fox programs that have been so accustomated to seein me, plus yaknow sorry seems ta be the hardest word, said that great poet somewhere back there across this great land of ours in song, and if I could have it to announce in a do-over all over again and again and again (to do over) from my enormous bus out there across this great land of ours I guess I woulda pulled over my One Notion bus into one of the many broadcastin studios there that Robert Ailes owns throughout this great nation that previously used to salutate me so happily into the bright lights and microphones and so forth with the big cushions there for me to answer upon, and the comfortable couches too and even from my own home studio I would be able to do those things with the mountains and vistawhatnots out the back window all lit up into the living rooms of the real Americans, then I woulda said I wasn't gonna run to be president after gettin all that money from my Sarahpac, right up to the last minute there on his channel boyhowdy, but I guess I just forgot to be able to do it, what with all my speechmakin and booksignin and commentatin and autographin and bustrippin and candidate endorsin and family raisin and neck tightenin and so forth so I just kinda forgot who the boss was instead of it bein me, so youbetcha I put my foot right in it once again is what I did then during those times.

I Don’t Care If I Never Get Back, But First Also Buy Me Some Peanuts and Cracker Jacks And So Forth …

Goshdarnit, because recently a couple of reporters there over at Fox and so forth said that they kinda low-ball me when I get on the air there with the harsh questions and so on that they ask of me when I go and sit in those studios there and recite my prompts and thoughts and reactions to what’s goin on around the places here in the world that are deservedly havin my inputs about things (since I still manage to get those bookings) youbetcha for darned sure I have somethin to say about these details which have come under the lights after havin been discussed since gee whillikers, I just feel that yaknow it shouldn't be able to be that way with those reporters, as those customs are between my collies and I to be pullin the punches there and so forth durin those hard hittin softball type innings that I do appear in from my own home studio, or when I'm on tour barnstormin remotely from my large movin bus, root-root-rootin for the home team yaknow (wink), answerin all those questions from off the top of my head and such when gettin our messages out over there in this great land of ours, straight ahead to the real Americans that need to be inflamed upon and told these things accurately on the subject of what we think about those folks, like the Washington Senators and the legislatures there (as our forefathers did on the parchment papers and Paul Revered scrolls and bells) to share beliefs with our demograbbits out there about those things that we don't agree with, like yaknow, pallin around with terrrists, which is one of my greatest hits from wayback that I reached around and pulled outta some place down back around there the other day kinda like a curve ball, low and inside there on the Hannity program and similar expositions there in the panels that are chosen for me to sit on, where sometimes I reveal my planks and also where I do see my fellow television characters and pass them geniably in the hallways, or while steppin over the cable networks out there for us to be able to be broadcastin and bringin them there, which is just so why I should not be “lobbed” those easy questions and should in fact be asked fastball inquisitarials, hurled at me with full force right in my face so that I’d be able to get on in there and swing my answerbat at those balls flyin at my face, in order to be hittin back at them to get a home run type response with all my experience and knowledge so that I can round those bases and such on my own without an assist, and also to be able to give a line-drive answer straight up the middle that the real Americans out there have been a cussin to hearin and seein out of me when I am asked those permanent things affectin all of us, especially and visually right before I chew on the air, doin a brushback to make sure my image is ready to project out there with those wonderments that are in fair territory for me to be answerin, instead of those foul territory questions that sometimes come my way, like that one time you remember when Katie Casey I mean Katie Couric tried to bean me and additionally tried to give me those spit balls to strike me out with, which almost made me more-or-less choke-up and so forth back then, which, buy gum, put a stop to those wrigley types of interviews and ambushes which made me a little bit of a laughin stocking of the political infield there for a while, nearly takin me out of rotation before the election was even overwith right after I was “brought up from the miners” then by the Mavrik durin that time we were leavin our campaign trails behind us, and almost also leavin me down in the dugouts there like a can of corn.